I Don't Want to Want You
by justxxwicked
Summary: It's been 6 years and Edward hasn't returned. Bella is now living in Seattle as a homicide detective. The homicide rate has shot up in Seattle and when Bella's life is put on the line, she sees the person she was hoping she'd never see again. OOC. R&R.
1. What I Wouldn't Give

**A/N**- Ok, i'm going to warn you now. I know absolutely NOTHING about homicide detectives! And i know it takes a lot longer to become one, just go along with it please? I didn't want to make Bella too much older. But yeah, I'm sorry if a lot of stuff in inaccurate and stuff. DON'T HATE ME!!!!

**Disclaimer**- Stephanie Meyer owns the story and the characters, I just get to play around with them. MUAHAHAHA! :P

Anyway, proceed and I hope you enjoy my new fanfic! Title of the story comes from the song "I Don't Want to Want You" by Lesley Roy. I might change it...but i'm not sure.

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Chapter 1- What I Wouldn't Give

_What I wouldn't give just to forget  
What I wouldn't give to get some rest  
So I can remember how to live again  
I wanna live again_

_~Holly Brook_

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely. He opened his eyes, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying._

"_You…don't…want me?" My voice cracked throughout the whole sentence. I was confused by the way the words had sounded, placed in that order._

…………

"_You're not good for me, Bella." _

…………

"_Goodbye, Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice. A single tear fell down my face as I tried to reach out for him, but his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. I opened my eyes as he was backing away. "Be safe." And then he was gone..._

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

_WHACK!_

Damn it.

This is how _every_ morning started out. I would dream about the day Ed- _he-_ left and then my alarm would go off scaring the shit out me.

Mornings suck.

Well… pretty much everyday suck. Ever since that horrible day in the forest when I lost the love of my life, my life has been full of hurt, doubt, and anger. I spent the first few months after Edward- _flinch-_ left pretty much catatonic and zombie-like. Every night I would leave my window open, no matter what the temperature was, and hope and pray that he would come back for me.

He never did.

Charlie was so worried about me. He actually had Renee come and try to take me back to Jacksonville and to try and talk to a shrink.

Yeah, that would turn out well. 'Yeah, my vampire boyfriend left me after his vampire brother tried to eat me and he said he doesn't love me anymore'. Oh yeah, that would be a great little therapy session.

I did feel for Charlie though. He cared about me so much and I was treating him terribly by not talking or eating and just being distant and pretty much gone.

But I was crushed. The only one I would ever love to me he didn't love me anymore and when he left he took my heart and soul with him. Jerk.

Well after I graduated high school, and that small amount of hope I had left disappeared, I attended Washington State University. I minored in Language Arts and majored in Law Enforcement. It was an interesting four years. And I can tell you that both Charlie and Renee were very much surprised when I told them what I would be majoring in. Let's just say after I graduated, I got over myself and didn't sulk about my life anymore. No, I didn't do that, I just became _really_ angry.

I didn't have many friends in college and that was my fault. I didn't want to become attached to anybody. Though no matter how hard I tried to distance myself from people, there was one who insisted on being my friend; and that's Jamie.

He. Is. Amazing. Enough said. Jamie is the only one I've talked to about _him…_minus the vampire details. You see, Jamie is gay and it was completely hilarious to hear him tell me that guys suck. He was having some relationship problems when I told him the story of my previous relationship. Jamie is the greatest friend a girl could have. He like the guy version of Alice- _flinch-, _when it comes to fashion he is, if not worse.

At the beginning of my college years Jamie always criticized my choice of clothing. He would always meet me at my dorm so we could walk to class together and if he didn't like my outfit he would make me change, even if it resulted in being late to class. He was crazy, but still amazing with his hyper, sarcastic attitude. He almost always had a sarcastic comment to everything. He somehow always found a way to make me laugh when I was having a my-life-sucks-I-want-to-die days.

Now, back to the present. It is 5:33 am and I'm fucking exhausted. Remember when I said how morning sucked? Yeah, well, today is even worse. It's September 13. My birthday. My twenty-fourth birthday. I hate birthdays, definitely mine. Now I'm twenty-four and still getting older everyday, thought Jamie tells me pretty much everyday that I don't look a day over eighteen. Really? I guess I haven't changed much in the past six years. So yeah, it's my birthday.

At least I have work to take the thoughts and memories of that horrid eighteenth birthday out of my head.

Oops! I guess I forget to mention what my job is.

I'm a homicide detective. Awesome right? I get a gun and everything. This was not my dream job eighteen years ago, but with all the anger going through me this was the perfect job, at least the part with the gun is. Although, Jamie always tells me that with my anger I don't need a gun, I could end up hurting somebody, and possibly myself. Charlie was actually worried about me handling a gun because of my clumsiness, but over the years, my clumsiness has disappeared. My aversion to blood is also gone. It's kinda difficult to be a homicide detective and have an aversion to blood. I have seen a lot of blood and other disgusting things, which would normally make me pass out, the past year.

Oh I love this job. I'm not really sure why. I think I thought that since I'm so angry all the time and if _they_ ever came back I would have I gun and I could just shoot _them_ if they pissed me off even more. But since they're vampires and can't die, shooting them wouldn't work. So I'm still not sure why I took this job.

God, what I wouldn't give to just forget them! But I knew that was never going to happen.

"BELLA! You better get your skinny ass out of bed right now or we're gonna be late!" Jamie was shouting outside my door. We are roommates. I opened my eyes just a little so I could see my clock. 5:40 am. That made me groan in unhappiness.

"No," I mumbled back.

"Isabella Swan, if you don't get up right now I'm coming in there with a bucket of water!"

Shit. He would do it too. He did it to me our second year of college. Not a good way to wake up.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I said sitting up and running my hand through my messy hair in frustration.

I stood up and made my way towards the bathroom. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, applied very little make up, and put on my gray Calvin Klein pant suit and jacket and some comfortable shoes.

When I walked out of the bathroom, I was hit with the amazing aroma of bacon and eggs.

'Jamie'. I thought to myself making me smile. Jamie was a big believer in breakfast. He never made a big breakfast unless there was a special occasion that day, and today was my birthday.

That thought wiped the smile of my face. My smile was replaced with frown and a groan.

I slowly made my way out of my room and into the kitchen where the wonderful smell was coming from. Before I had a chance to think or notice Jamie in the room I heard:

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"Jesus Jamie! Do you have to yell?!"

"You're yelling." He replied with a huge smile. I couldn't think of anything genius to say back. When I didn't respond he repeated himself. "Happy Birthday." This time he whispered it.

"Smart ass," I mumbled making him laugh.

"Cheer up Bella! It's your birthday!" Jamie set setting a plate down in front of me and getting a plate for himself before sitting down.

"That's _exactly_ why I'm like this,_ because_ it's my birthday."

"Bella, honey, you need to _let it go_. Seriously, it's not healthy. That boy was an idiot and he doesn't know what he's missin'". I forced a small smile on my face before looking down at my plate of bacon and eggs the were placed in a certain way so it looked like a smiley face. "Now eat Birthday Girl!"

Ugh. _Birthday_.

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**A/N-** I wanted this to be a little longer but oh well. I hope you guys enjoyed it! Want me to continue? I'm also going to warn you, if I do continue, I'll never know when I'll have another chapter up because school freaking SUCKS! Please review and tell me what you think! And leave suggestions! I might use them! If you do i'll credit you and love you forever! :D


	2. Trouble in Seattle

**A/N: I'M SORRY!!!!!!! I'm actually kind of upset because I was hoping I would have this chapter up by the week after I posted the first one, but the world was against me. I caught that stupid virus that was sweeping the US and I couldn't do anything. I thought since I was home for four days I could work on the chapter but I felt so horrible I couldn't get myself to write. And then the week after I had tons of makeup work to do (here's a tip: NEVER miss four days of school in high school...it sucks). So anyway, I apologize. **

**Disclaimer**- Stephanie Meyer owns the story and the characters, I just get to play around with them. MUAHAHAHA! :P

**Ok, proceed. :)**

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**Chapter 2- Trouble in Seattle**

_Set me free  
__Leave me be  
__I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.  
__Here I am  
__And I stand so tall  
__Just the way I'm supposed to be.  
_~ Sara Bareilles

Jamie and I sat in comfortable silence finishing my _birthday_ breakfast. It consisted of bacon, eggs, sausage. All the breakfast necessities.

For the past five years I have told Jamie to not make a big deal out of my birthday. That includes no Birthday Breakfasts. But Jamie _never_ listens. He always insists on doing something for my birthday…or anyone's birthday for that matter.

Just like _Alice_.

She had insisted on having a party for my eighteenth birthday. You know what that turned into? Complete disaster! Not that it mattered. _He_ was planning on leaving me anyway. I think that whole birthday incident was just an excuse to use on me…

But never mind that. I'm not gonna think about that anymore. Which reminds me, Jamie is always telling me not to think about them and let it go. He always tells me to _let it go_. But I hardly think about them; only on my birthday.

I did tell Jamie everything about the Cullens and my relationship with them…ok, maybe not _everything. _Not the part about them being blood sucking vampires who could kill us in a matter of seconds or what _really_ happened on my eighteenth birthday. I told him some crazy ridiculous story that their man-eating dog tried to attack me and then we all got in a fight about it.

Yeah, like that Cullens would have a dog. But Jamie did fall for it. Thought he didn't understand we "fought about it". But I told him to drop it because that totally didn't happen and my lying skills can only go so far.

_Cause you're hot then you're cold_

_You're yes then you're no_

_You're in and you're out_

_You're up and you're down_

Jamie and I pretty much jumped five feet in the air when my cell phone ringing. It had been silent for so long the sudden noise freaked us out a little. We both laughed at the expressions on our faces.

I jumped up and ran (without tripping!) over to the coffee table where my purse was sitting.

_You're wrong when it's right_

_It's black and it's white_

_We fight, we break up_

_We kiss, we make up_

"Girl, you need to change that ring tone of yours."

"Shut up," I replied, glaring a little at Jamie and earning a chuckle in return.

I rolled my eyes and rummaged through my purse trying to find my phone.

I smiled when I saw Jacob's name flash across the screen. I hadn't talked to Jacob in a while. After I left for college I never really kept in touch with everybody. The only people I would still talk to occasionally were Jacob, Angela, Charlie, and Renee. And even then it was all that much. A couple times a month maybe? I don't know.

Anyway, about six months after the Cullens left, Jacob and I became good friends. We hung out every chance we got; which was pretty much every day.

I enjoyed his company, just as much as he enjoyed mine. Jacob was my best friend, well, he still is…but whatever. Though we wanted to stay on the friendship level, my father had different ideas, along with Jake's father, Billy.

We did try…once. But it was extremely awkward, for me at lest, he on the other hand enjoyed it…a lot. All we did was kiss! But I just couldn't do it. I only wanted to be friends and nothing more…I wasn't _ready_ for something more.

You see, after _they_ left, I was nothing; a zombie. I was pretty much on autopilot for six months, and it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and all that was left was a hold. And it hurt. I had to force myself to get up in the morning. I had to force myself to eat, to go to school. And sleep? Well, that's a whole other story for another time. But after about six months when I started hanging out with Jacob, it was like a light was finally shining through, my life was no longer in complete darkness.

Jacob was my sun. He tried his hardest to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart and put them back together again. Though he tried his hardest, there is still that hole. There is still that place that is meant for _him_, and only him, no matter how much I don't want him.

And that's why I couldn't be anymore than just friends with Jake. When we kissed, all I could think about was _him_. I could remember his sent. The way he kissed me; and how he was push me away because he was afraid of _control_. GAH! Every thought I have some how turns around and back to _him_!

Damn him.

"Hey Jake! What's up?" I said, _finally_ answering the phone.

"Geez Bells, took you long enough to answer the phone," Jake responded in a teasing tone.

"Shut up Jake," I said in what was _supposed_ to be an angry voice but I couldn't help but chuckle. It _did_ take me a while to answer the phone. "Now what do you want that has you calling me at seven o'clock in the morning?"

Silence.

"Jake?"

Still silence.

"Hello? Jacob?"

I heard a little noise, but besides that there was still complete silence. I took my cell from my ear to check the screen and make sure he didn't hang up or make sure that I didn't hit any buttons by accident.

Right when I put the phone back to my ear, the voices that came out of the speaker made me groan in annoyance.

_Happy birthday to you!_

_Happy birthday to you!_

_Happy birthday dear Bella!_

_Happy birthday to you!_

"I hate you Jacob Black."

"No you don't Bells!" He replied, laughing. "Now relax, it's your birthday!"

"That's exactly why I hate you," I said, crossing one arm over my stomach, seeing as how my other arm was too occupied holding the phone.

"Isabella Swan, do I have to come all the way up to Seattle to knock some sense into you? Let it go!" He said, obviously frustrated. He had no problem telling me to get over the Cullens, just like Jamie.

"You sound like Jamie," I said rolling my eyes. I could hear Jamie laughing from kitchen.

"Well he's smart! Now, be happy with your little birthday song. Quill and Embry came over here early to help me sing that to you." It was then that I remembered that there were other people there.

"Well thank you," I said with a sigh. "And thank you Quill and Embry and anyone else whose there!" I yelled through that phone. I could hear a chorus of 'You're Welcome's!' coming through the phone. I laughed before continuing, "So Jake how is everybody? The rest of the Pack included."

What do I mean by 'the Pack'? Well, the Pack is the werewolves down in La Push. Yes, I said werewolves. And Jake is one of them…along with Quill, Embry; Sam…Sam is actually the one who found me in the woods after _he_ left. The wolves also saved me from being killed by Laurent when I was visiting the Meadow. I didn't know they were werewolves at the time thought, I found out a few days later. But yes, there are werewolves. I laugh now because only me, Isabella Swan, could run into, and become best friends with, werewolves right after being friends with and _dating_ vampires.

Only me.

"Everyone's great. There hasn't been an action down here so we're all kinda bored." I rolled my eyes at Jake's response. There was something wrong with the Y-chromosome that made them all want to fight twenty-four hours a day. They're crazy.

"Well that's good. And tell everybody else who's not there that I said 'hello'."

"Will do Bells!" I laughed at his enthusiasm. "Well Bella, that's all I have to say for now," Jake said in a very business-like tone of voice.

"Are you trying to get rid of me Jacob?" I said, feigning hurt.

"Nope, you just have to finish getting ready for work!" He responded in a very cheery voice that was quite terrifying.

"Oh yay, work." I said, laughing a little.

"I'll call you later when you're off of work so you can tell me if anything crazy happened!" Like I said, Y-chromosome.

"Alright, talk to you later. Bye Jake!"

"Bye Bells! And happy birthday!" Before I could yell at him, he hung up. I groaned and closed my phone and put it in my phone holder that was now attached to my belt. I stood up and when I turned around Jamie was standing there with his arms crossed shaking his head at me.

"What?"

"Seriously Bella? You're the only one I know who's bummed on their birthday."

"I have good reasons," I mumbled, and before he could respond his cell phone went off.

"Hello, James Ashford speaking." I flinch every time he says his full first name. It brings back _way_ too many memories; ones that I don't want to relive. Why he answered his phone in such a formal way I'll never know. He even does it when _I_ call him. "What?!...No way!" I listened intently on Jamie. Though his voice and the look on his face were excitement and confusion, his eyes betrayed him: there was fear. "Mhm…yes…okay…we'll be right there." Jamie snapped his phone shut and turned to look at me.

"What?" I impatiently asked him.

"We have a new case to cover."

"Okay…what is it? Where is it? What happened?" I questioned, attaching my gun and holster to my belt.

"I'm not really sure; Jason said he would fill us in when we got there." Jason is the Chief of Police in Seattle.

We were already getting in the car when Jamie answered my questions, well one of them anyway.

"Where are we going anyway?" I asked, fastening my seatbelt then turning to look at him.

"The parking garage in Downtown Seattle. Double homicide." He had spoken _my_ unspoken question.

"Double?"

"Yes _double_. Why do you sound so surprised? We're in _Seattle_, it's bound to happen."

"True."

So then I just turned my head back around to stare out the window to gather up my myriad of thoughts as we drove to the homicide scene in Downtown Seattle.

*~*~*~*~*

When Jamie and I finally reached the scene, Chad, one of the forensic scientists, came running over to our car to take us to the spot where the homicide had occurred.

"So Chad, what happened?" I asked.

"Well, as you already know, it's a double homicide, but the thing is we're pretty sure who killed one of the men but other one? It's a huge mystery." He paused for a second to shake his head. "There are two gun shot wounds in one of the victim's chest and the other victim…his blood is completely drained from his body."

With that I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to look at Chad. "Did you say 'his blood is completely drained'?" I couldn't keep my voice from cracking at the end.

"Yes, it's really strange. We've never seen anything like it. It's going to be a difficult case."

When we finally reached the level in the parking garage to where to murders took place, there were police men, detectives, and forensic scientists everywhere. Chad walked us over to where to bodies laid. And there they were. One with a gunshot wound (which we were all used to) and one with his body completely drained.

Though nobody else knew would this could mean or what it was, I knew _exactly_ what it was.

There was trouble in Seattle.

There were _vampires_ in Seattle.

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**Dun Dun Dunnnn! :)**

**A/N: Ok, I'm gonna be honest, I'm not very happy with this chapter...though it is my longest chapter ever! 7 pages baby! YES! But anyway, yeah, to me it went kind of slow and I repeated myself a lot. BUT! my opinion doesn't matter, it's you wonderful reader's! So...if you have any advice on my writing feel free to tell me, I won't be hurt...well maybe a little...but I'll get over it... :P**

**Anyway, so in last chapter's author's note I mentioned I would thank anybody who made a suggestion in what I should put in upcoming chapters. And though I already had part of the idea beforehand, I would like to thank **Jord-El **for leaving a suggestion! Thank you! :D**

**Now I'm going to warn you...I have NO idea when the next chapter is going to be posted. I will be working on it but on March 7 through March 14 I will be in New Orleans for a school trip to rebuild and stuff and then March 15 through the 21st (i think) I'll be in Florida for spring break and I don't have a computer in either of those places. But I will be working on the chapters!**

**Ok, now that the author's notes are longer than the chapter itself I will leave you guys alone to do what you please. :) Please review!**


	3. Imaginary

**A/N: Ok! As you knew a few weeks ago I said as soon as I returned from my two week trip I would update, well here it it! :D I just got back today too! It was pretty much out of the car and to the computer. :P**

**Moving on, I was kind of sad to see THREE reviews on this chapter. I mean, I'm definately not expecting tons of reviews but I do hope for more than three. And so, to you three reviewers, I dedicate this chapter to you. :) **

**The reviewers:  
****destineyallen**  
**Jord-El**  
**heathern**

**Thank you!  
Now, read on! :D**

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Chapter 3- Imaginary

_Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming  
__Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights  
__Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming  
__The goddess of imaginary light  
__~Evanescence_

Vampires.

There were fucking vampires in Seattle.

In the back of my mind I always thought I would eventually run into vampires again, but I hoped and prayed that wouldn't! And what truly confused me was, why was there one many with gunshots to the chest and another man sucked dry. It made absolutely no sense. And thirsty nomadic vampires usually don't hunt in broad daylight where they could possibly be caught. Vampires aren't usually stupid creatures.

Anyway, back to this odd case. I'm a homicide detective, as you know, and I've seen some insane cases that would baffle _anybody_. Like this one man that was pretty much tortured and then tied into a tree in the most intricate way in the Seattle park. Yeah, it was crazy, but we solved the case. But this case? The only solution I can come up with is that Drained Man (yeah, I name the victims) shot Non-Drained Man, a vampire witnessed the murder, Vampire thought 'Oh, that man shot another, he doesn't deserve to live' (kind of like the death penalty, I guess…in a vampire's eyes) and then attacked and sucked Drained Man dry.

…The more I thought about that, it actually seemed like a plausible story…and it also seemed very familiar. Only there's one problem. If I were to tell the other detectives my theory, I would most definitely be sent to the nut house. The last time I spoke my theories aloud about a certain someone having something do with radioactive spiders I was laughed at.

…Wait a second…

Oh god… Edward! _That's_ where I've heard that story before; At least one similar to it!

I remember the story _he_ told me the summer before senior year about his rebellious days. He fed on human blood but he only drank from those he thought deserved to die…

Oh no…he wouldn't…Edward couldn't…why would he…?

"Isabella Marie Swan!"

I snapped out of my inner babbling and panic attack to Chad shaking my shoulder and Jamie shouting my name, my _full_ name.

"Huh?" was my brilliant response.

"Bella, you were just staring at the two victims and you were starting to hyperventilate," Jamie told me with a large amount of concern.

I was hyperventilating? Well, _that's_ embarrassing. But that explained why I seemed to be out of breath. I looked around at the concerned faces of Chad and Jamie and then I looked back at the two bodies lying a few feet away from us.

"Um…yeah, I'm fine," I lied, "I'm just shocked…for lack of a better word." I was still staring at the dead bodies.

"You sure?" Chad asked, taking a step back. He probably thought I was going to be sick or something. "You seemed kind of freaked out. I mean I'll admit this is some crazy shit, but it's not that bad. I mean, you're pale white, like you've seen a ghost or something."

Oh, I haven't seen a ghost, just the evidence that a bloodsucking vampire is loose in Seattle and could end up coming to your house tonight to suck your blood!

I grimaced at that thought and before my mind could wander anywhere else I let out deep sigh and replied, "No, I'm fine…really. I just have a feeling it's gonna be a long day and I'm a little irritable today and I apologize." I said looking at both Jamie and Chad.

"Come on Bella, it's your birthday! Cheer up!"

"Damn it. Let's not mention my stupid birthday anymore!" I said a little bit too loud that resulted in Chad flinching back away from me and a few forensics guys and fellow detectives turn my way. I could feel the familiar red blush creep up my neck and up to my cheeks after my little outburst.

I sighed again and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration and embarrassment, only to stop when I remembered that's what Edward used to do.

"Guys I'm sorry. I really have no excuse to pounce on you guys for mentioning my birthday; it's just…not my favorite day of the year." Jamie sighed and put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's alright, Bells. I understand why it's a touchy subject and a crappy day, and I won't bring up your birthday again." Jamie suddenly gasped, which made Chad and me jump, and put his hand over his mouth and whispered "sorry, I mean: the 'B' word."

I had to laugh at his way of mentioning my birthday, but I had to admit I was being pretty ridiculous about it. I let out a sigh and smiled and put my mind back to the problem at hand.

"Ok, so are there any theories as to why there are two men dead here with one without an ounce of blood in veins?" I asked putting on some latex gloves and walking over to the two victims so I could examine them myself.

Even though there was no reason for me to, I still had to put on the façade that I had no idea what the hell was going on.

After Chad and Jamie composed themselves from their shock from my sudden change in mood followed after me to examine the bodies as well. Chad was the one to speak.

"They haven't figured at much yet. They both had I.D.'s on them. Who we're assuming is the gunman is Jerry Hutch and the gunshot victim is Joshua Wyatt. So far it seems nothing of their's is missing. So it wasn't a mugging. Some of the forensic scientists think the gunman had some blood disease but that still doesn't help, because there isn't a disease that causes all of your blood to disappear."

"I'll admit, I've seen some crazy cases the past few months I've worked here but _nothing_ like this," I said with a small laugh that held no humor. Chad and Jamie both let out small chuckles before they both stood up and walked away to talk to other detectives.

I lingered for a few minutes and asked questions to anyone who walked by and so far I hadn't found any witnesses. I kind of assumed there wouldn't be any if this was a vampire attack. So after some questioning I gathered up finger prints on the weapon and put the gun in an evidence bag. After handing some things off to forensics, something caught my eye towards the stairs.

I could see someone running. It looked like they had styled spiky hair and I instinctively ran after them. No one seemed to notice as I ran down the stairs. A few years ago, running down the stairs would result on me falling down and ending up in the hospital. But one thing you have to learn while being a detective is how to run…without falling on your face.

So I kept running. Hand on my gun, which was still attached to my belt, for precaution and keeping a close eye on whoever I was chasing. If this was the vampire that attacked the man upstairs I was definitely screwed. But I kept running anyway.

When I was finally outside of the parking garage there was no one in sight. No tourists. Not one pedestrian. I took the gun out of it holster, cocked it, and pointing it down, but still ready for anyone to jump out.

I thought I heard someone move somewhere beside me so I turned and held the gun up with both hands. Any normal person would be absolutely terrified, but I had so much adrenaline running through my veins I couldn't feel anything.

"This is Detective Isabella Swan, if you do come out I will be forced to take physical action," I said calming with my gun at the ready, just in case.

Then, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I heard a voice. _The_ voice. It was the voice that distracted me on every case I was involved in. _Edward_.

_**Bella, don't do it.**_

_No, go away and leave me alone! _I thought back, shaking my head and trying to keep myself together.

_**Don't do this Bella. You could get hurt!**_

_Oh, shut the fuck up and let me do my job. _I knew talking (or thinking) back did no good and his voice would never go away.

Every time I did something reckless or stupid, _his_ voice would enter my mind telling me to stop doing whatever I was doing. The first time was when I went to the movies with Jessica Stanley. I had seen four guys standing outside of a bar and they reminded me of the guys that almost attacked me in Port Angeles the _first_ time. I had started moving towards them, for reasons I'm still not sure about, when I first heard _his_ voice. It was his voice telling me to run and to stay away from them. I was so scared the first time I heard his voice. And it was so clear I could have sworn he was standing right next to me.

Then every time I did something stupid his voice would pop into my head. Including the times I went motorcycling with Jacob. And now that I'm a homicide detective, which I will admit is kind of a dangerous job; I hear his voice all the time. And it drives me insane. I used to rely on that voice and I would always be so happy to hear it, but then I went to college and didn't do anything stupid so I didn't hear his voice for four years and I was becoming closer to closure. But then I became a homicide detective and it started up again and it pisses me off.

_**You promised me Bella.**_

I shook off his comment and began circling around where I had heard the movement. I kept my breathing even and I kept quiet.

But then the next thing I knew I was being pushed out of the way and a man ran past me. It was the one I had be chasing. He had the black spiky hair. And I stood stunned for a second before I could register what had just happened. I held up my gun again and shouted:

"Hey! FREEZE!!" I knew it wouldn't work but it was what we were all supposed to do before shooting at somebody. Most days I would rather just go ahead and shoot the bastard. But this guy I had no idea what his role was in this case. I assumed the two guys in the parking garage were the only two guys involved, besides the vampire. And this guy was no vampire.

The man kept running so I ran after him and shouted again but I still didn't do any good so I shot at him, and missed. I hardly ever missed so it pissed me off even more.

"Damn it!" I shouted before aiming at the man again. He was running into the woods and I was still chasing after him.

Then a few things happened at once. I heard Jamie and a few other detectives shout after me.

"Bella!"

And even though it was a simple call it was still enough to distract me for a split second. But in this kind of chase, the smallest distraction it could be extremely dangerous and sometimes lethal.

I had turned my head to see Jamie and the other detectives with him running after me and right when I turned my head around I heard a gunshot and saw the black-haired man pointing his own gun behind me. I feared that he had shot somebody behind me because I heard frantic shouting but I kept running and shot at him once more, only to miss…again.

Then I started to feel tired. I was really in shape and running usually had no effect on me but in a split second I felt exhausted. I stopped and heard the shouting come closer. I turned around to see _a lot_ of worried detectives.

"Oh god, Bella!"

"It's alright guys I'm fine. But that son of a bitch got away."

"Bella! How could you still be worried about him?! We need to worry about you now and get you to the hospital!" Jamie shouted. By now I was extremely confused. I felt perfectly fine, a little tired, but fine.

Then, there was a sharp pain that shot through me that made me double over in pain and put my hand under my ribs.

What had happened?

I looked down through squinted eyes and looked at my hand that was covering my ribs.

It was covered in thick, red blood.

I gasped which resulted in another strike of unbearable pain. Jamie and many other detectives ran over and started to help me stand up straight, but I tried to breathe normally and tell them I was fine.

"No, guys I'm fine. Really. It just surprised me as all." I said, and flinched when I simply turned my torso towards most of the detectives.

"Isabella you are not fine," one of the detectives said, putting one of my arms over his shoulder. "We need to get her to a hospital! FAST!" He shouted to everyone else.

I wanted to argue but the next thing I knew, I was gently being placed in the passenger side of Jamie's car. Jamie got in the driver's seat while a couple of other's got in the back. Jamie turned the lights on his car and sped off a split second after the back doors closed.

"You guys really I'm fi-"

"I swear to God, Isabella Marie, if you say 'you're fine' I'm gonna have to shoot you again."

I had to laugh at his ridiculousness. He was being completely absurd. I was fine! I would have a big bruise at the most.

In what seemed like no time at all, we were pulling into the emergency entrance of Seattle Grace Hospital. A couple people shouted at Jamie, telling him he couldn't park there and enter this way but he ignored then and he _gently_ dragged me inside (oxymoron, I know).

Before I could tell them I was fine again I started getting dizzy and I could no longer hold up my own weight. I could hear the nurse at the desk asking us what we needed before she saw me.

"Hello, what can I help you with- oh dear!"

By the end of her sentence I was just barely leaning up against the counter with everybody around me telling me to stay awake and to take deep breathes. I tried to take deep breathes but I found that to be extremely painful.

A few nurses were surrounding me and shouting orders to other nurses to page the doctor. I had just collapsed onto the floor and was about to drift off when I heard a different voice.

"What going on?!"

Oh no. I knew that voice. I don't want to hear that voice. I would rather die than hear any of their voices. _Please_ be an imagination or let me be dreaming!

"Oh Doctor! Detective Isabella Swan has been shot directly under the ribs and needs immediate attention!" I heard, what sounded like, a younger nurse shout to the doctor. I had been gently placed onto a stretcher with my jacket and shirt taken off; which would normally be extremely awkward, but at the moment nothing mattered, except who my doctor was.

With all my strength I got my eyes to open. When some of my vision returned I had just enough time to look into the beautiful face of none other than:

"Carlisle"

That was the last thing I managed to say before darkness surrounded me.

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**A/N: So far this is my longest chapter! Yippee!! :D Not by much, but it's still longer. Now since I wrote this in about...six hours...the grammer mistakes in here are probably pretty terrible. my microsoft word has been slackin' on the ABC check (I rely on that WAY too much!)**

**This chapter has been in my head since the beginning!!! The whole "Carlisle" part anyway. I had it all planned out in my head but I had trouble putting down on paper... oh well, I hope you guys like it anyway!**

**Don't forget: you can leave suggestions and I will definately listen to them!!...or read-listen :/**

**And I'm not going to do the _leave this much reviews and I will update _thing b/c I'll feel guilty if I do that. And I'll want to update to badly to wait. :D But please review anyway!**


	4. You're Not Sorry

**A/N: OMG. I love you guys. No lie. When I woke up the next day after posting chapter 3 and I checked my email, there were 20 emails telling me that a lot of you favorited and email alerted this story! :D i was so excited! and there were a few more reviews in there was well! WOO HOO! You guys rock!**

**Now...read on!**

**EDIT: THIS IS THE EDITED CHAPTER!!! I REREAD IT AFTER I POSTED IT AND I HAD A LOT OF GRAMMATICAL ERRORS SO...YEAH...**

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Chapter 4- You're Not Sorry

_All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around  
__I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down  
__And its taking me this long baby but I figured you out  
__And you think it will be fine again but not this time around  
_  
~Taylor Swift

_And then I knew I was dead._

"_Oh no, Bella, no…!"_

… "_Carlisle!" …_

… "_Bella!" …_

… "_She's lost some blood, but the head wound isn't deep…"_

_A howl of rage strangled on the angel's lips…  
_

* * *

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

_Well that was different. I normally don't have that dream…actually, I have never had that dream._

I tried to turn over so I could turn the alarm off but quickly realized I couldn't.

I couldn't do anything…

And when the constant beeping kept going I realized it wasn't my alarm clock and I felt oddly uncomfortable and not at home.

_Where am I? And what happened?_

I lied there for a little while before all of my memories came flooding into my mind in one big flash.

The crime scene. Vampires. That man. I got shot. Carlisle.

I gasped.

Carlisle! With that remembrance my eyes shot open. I looked around frantically while my vision cleared, trying to find if anyone was in the room. I could hear my heart on the heart monitor accelerating.

I struggled to sit up but I ended up gasping and curling up on my side in pain as the movement sent a wave of pain under my ribs.

"You may want to avoid moving around, Bella. Moving may irritate it…though, I think you already figured that out the hard way," I heard someone chuckle.

I swear my heart stopped beating right then and there. I didn't even hear him enter.

I opened my eyes again and slowly turned my head towards the source of the voice.

"Carlisle," I said with a short nod of my head. And when I said his name, it seemed to come out in more of a growl.

I could see confusion and then hurt clearly displayed on his face. He obviously wasn't expecting this behavior from me. He quickly composed himself and forced himself to smile again before slowly stepping forward.

"Bella, it's good to see you again," he paused, "even under these unfortunate circumstances."

"Sure," I forced a small laugh that held absolutely no humor and looked away. "I'd say the same thing but…I don't think I would be telling the truth," I finished, turning my head slightly back towards him.

Carlisle was usually the one who could hold perfect composure, but his perfect composure was slipping. He could obviously tell how upset…wait wrong word…he could obviously tell how _extremely pissed off_ I was at his family.

As he took another step forward, I flinched back a little and he held up his hands and quietly said:

"Bella, I need to check your vitals and make sure everything is healing properly."

I glared at him for a few seconds before replying. "Fine."

He nodded and quickly got to work, checking the need in my arm and a bunch of other stuff and eventually the wound itself, which was actually pretty nasty…and it hurt like a bitch.

Carlisle worked in silence for a while and just as I was hoping he wouldn't talk to me, the world went against my wishes and he tried to strike up a conversation.

"So, Bella, how have you been?"

I turned to look at him but he was busy writing stuff down on his clipboard so I looked away again. I thought about not answering but instead I sighed and replied anyway.

"I've been better." The words kind of came out in a small whisper and if Carlisle were human he probably would have missed what I said.

I heard his pen suddenly stop moving after I answered so I turned my head to see what his expression was. He had a look of concern, not like a doctor's concern like when they think you might die in a couple days, but more like when a father is concerned about the mental state of his daughter. Why? I have no idea.

"You're not talking about this are you?" he asked gesturing towards the hospital bed and the room. He knew I wasn't talking about my physical state at the moment, but more of the events that went down six years ago.

_Damn, this guy is good, _I thought before replying again.

"Yes and no," I answered truthfully. "I mean, yeah being stuck in a hospital bed after being shot kinda sucks, but I have unfortunately had worse."

I saw Carlisle grimace at my words and then he seemed to be struggling on what to say next.

_Okay, this is_ not _the Carlisle Cullen I knew six years ago,_ I thought, starting to get a little weirded out. Carlisle Cullen was always the one who knew what to say and how to say it. Even when it was a very difficult time he knew what to say. He even looked different. He was normally glowing, like all vampires, and beautiful. But this Carlisle? He seemed to be internally struggling. He looked like he wanted to say something but he was afraid to, like he offend me or scare me off. _Hell, he's offending me just by being here. _And his normally beautiful face looked like a face to a human who hadn't slept in years. He had dark circles under his eyes. Normally I would say that's because he hasn't hunted in a few days but his eyes were the color of a vampire who had _just_ hunted not to long ago. And speaking of eyes, they weren't as bright. Even if he was holding up a façade of being happy, anyone would be able to tell it wasn't the truth.

Just as I was about to be brave and ask him what was up Carlisle looked up from and his clipboard and shocked me be saying:

"Everyone misses you, you know?"

Now it was my turn to be speechless. He can't just say that. It had taken me six years to get over the Cullens and then they all randomly come traipsing back into my life…well one of them, anyway.

I took a deep breath, which I desperately needed since I apparently had stopped breathing at Carlisle's little statement, and tried to think of something to say.

_He has to be lying to me_, I thought, _why would they miss me? They were the ones who left._

"Bella…I know you don't believe me but-" I cut him off; I didn't want to hear what he had to say.

"I don't want to hear it Carlisle. I have gone six years without any of you and you can't just come back and expect to believe that you miss me." I thought I was done but then something dawned on me and my anger started to rise. "Carlisle! You didn't tell anyone did you?!"

"Your friend Jamie but-"

"That's not who I meant and you know it," I snapped. He sighed and looked me dead in the eyes.

"No." I let out a small sigh of relief. "I haven't told anybody in the family. I haven't even been home yet. I just told Esme I was extremely busy here and had to care for a lot of patients and not to worry. But you do realize that it is going to be especially hard to hide the fact that you're here from Edward. He _does _feel the worst about all of this." He must have seen me visibly flinch since he quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how badly torn you still are over this."

"How can I not be, Carlisle? Do you even know what he said? Do you know how I lived the last six years of my life?" He looked at me curiously and before he could say anything I continued. "I'm serious, Carlisle, out of all the people in your family I _really_ don't want to see _him_. So please, for the sake of my sanity, _don't tell anybody." _

Carlisle slowly and sadly nodded while I glared at him with tears blurring my vision. I wasn't exactly sure why I was crying. I could feel a few different emotions surge through me, I just wasn't sure what.

I didn't know how long I was glaring at Carlisle, but I was suddenly interrupted when someone burst through the door, frantically calling my name.

"BELLA! Oh my God, Bella! Are you-" he must have caught me glaring at Carlisle because he suddenly stopped. "Should I leave? I could come back in a few minutes."

I stopped looking at Carlisle and turned to look at Jamie's confused expression and told him he could stay.

"No Jamie, you're fine. Dr. _Cullen_ was just leaving." I threw one last warning glare at Carlisle as he nodded at me and Jamie and left the room.

Jamie still looked confused but then shock overcame that emotion as he realized what I had just said.

"Wait a sec, that's a _Cullen_? As in you're _ex-boyfriend_ Cullen?"

"Unfortunately yes. That was Carlisle Cullen, Edward's father," I confirmed, my voice cracking a little bit.

Jamie thought about this new information for a little bit before letting out a high pitched squeal and throwing himself at me.

"Oh Bella! I'm so sorry! This must be terribly hard for you."

"Jamie, as much as I love you, could you please be more gentle…it kinda hurts," I asked laughing a little but the tears were now flowing freely.

"Oh, sorry Bella. But I'm glad you're okay." He paused for a second. "You are okay right? I mean, you're not going to die?" This time I really laughed.

"No, Jamie, I'm not going to die. It may hurt but I'm not going to die."

"Do you know how long you have to stay here?" That's when I realized I didn't even ask. And I didn't even know how long I had been here already.

"No, I forgot to ask. But…how long have I been in here already?" I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know but I asked anyway.

"Only about a day. You lost a lot of blood so they had to do a few blood transfusions and then had to keep sedating you so you could sleep through the worst of the pain." I nodded my head as I began thinking about the dream I had had earlier. I guess it made sense. I remember after James' attack I had to be sedated a few times. I guess being in a hospital again brought up that memory of the ballet studio. "Oh Bella, your dad's here."

_What'd he just say?_

"What?"

"Your dad's here."

"How did he know I was here?" I asked, starting to panic. If he knew I was here he would probably be a nervous wreck and ask me tons of questions and then try and go after the guy who shot me afterwards. I mean, he is the Chief of Forks Police and I'm his daughter, but geez, he's sometimes a little overprotective.

Just then Charlie walked in.

"Bells?" Both Jamie and I turned and looked towards the door.

"Hey Dad." I answered back, my voice starting to sound all scratchy.

"Oh Isabella, I was so worried when I got that phone call." Charlie told me, grabbing my hand.

"I'm fine Dad. I have good doctors."

"I'll leave you two alone," Jamie said enthusiastically, turning around and leaving the room.

"Unfortunately it's a doctor we didn't want to see anymore." That got my attention.

"How did you know about that?"

"Dr. Cullen is the one who called me," Charlie said matter-of-factly.

"Oh." I let out a tired sigh and grimaced when the action caused my injury to hurt. It really was starting to hurt a lot.

"Bella, why don't I go get a nurse to give you more pain medication so you can rest." I wanted to argue but couldn't find any energy to, so I just nodded my head.

Charlie lightly kissed my forehead and left to go find a nurse.

While I waited for a nurse to come, I stared at the ceiling thinking about that last couple of days and how so much seemed to have changed. And I couldn't stop thinking about what Carlisle had been saying.

_Yeah right, he's not sorry._

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**A/N: Not really an exciting chapter but I hoped you enjoyed it anyway. :) It didn't take me as long this time because I actually started this one right after I posted chapter 3. It's amazing how fast a fanfic is updated if you started writing the next chapter right away! haha**

**but anyway i'll try and get the next chapter ASAP, but until then...please review!**

**p.s.- i might need a beta...because...i'm not gonna lie, my grammatical knowledge kind of sucks. so...message me! :)**


	5. Stand My Ground

**A/N: So, let me ask you guys something: What 16 year old do you know that has an ulcer? Me! It freaking sucks. This is what I get for actually caring about my school work and stuff. An ucler. Really? GAH!**

**Ok, done with that. Now, I apologize for the amount of time it took me to update. It's the last quarter of school so school is insane. Also, I am already having writer's block. Is that a problem? Because this is only the 5th chapter. Oh man.**

**Ok, enjoy. :)**

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Chapter 5- Stand My Ground

_Stand my ground, I won't give in  
No more denying, I gotta face it  
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside_

~Within Temptation

_497…498…499…500 sheep!_

…_Damn it._

Yeah, to say I was bored would be a complete understatement. I tried counting sheep for a while in hopes of eventually dozing off. That wasn't going to happen.

I had been in the hospital for about a week and I would probably kill someone if the reward was getting out of the stuffy white room. I have always hated hospitals- with their white sheets and white walls and the smell of sick people. Ugh! It's terrible!

On the plus side, I did have a lot of people come visit me; most of them were my co-workers. I got many "Get Well Soon" cards and balloons and a few people actually went out and got me flowers. Charlie came a couple times before he had to go back to Forks and go back to protecting Forks' great citizens. It took a lot of begging to actually get Charlie to go back, he kept insisting that he should stay until I was released. Geez, between him and Jamie, those two worry way too much. They could probably join their own Worry-About-Bella club. They would probably do it too.

And speaking of Jamie, he was always there too. He actually kept a lot of my boredom at bay by bringing fashion magazines and criticizing every single model on every page. He would occasionally come across a male model that was "date worthy". For him, not me. I always had to hold in giggles that threatened to escape every time he got this daydream look in his eyes.

_Oh Jamie, what would I do without him?_

Of course Jacob traveled up here to visit me in the hospital, as well. I had expected him to be worried about me too, but instead he made a joke about it.

_Flash Back_

_I was reading my battered copy of Wuthering Heights that Jamie had dropped off for me when I heard the door slam open. I all but jumped about five feet in the air and threw the book across the room. When I looked up, there stood Jacob Black with his hands on his hips looking all serious._

_I raised my eyebrows and was about to ask him what was up when he broke out in smile and practically ran towards me._

"_Okay, Bella? When I said to call me later if something crazy happened, I didn't mean you get hurt and get yourself sent to the hospital."_

_I glared at him and slapped his arm, causing him to jump back._

"_Damn Bella! I was kidding! Man you're grouchy."_

"_Well of course I'm grouchy," I snapped back, "I've been stuck in this place for two days." Jake was quiet for a few seconds before shrugging and agreeing with me._

"_Touché." Then anger seemed to flash through his eyes. "And if I were staying in the same place as that…leech…I'd be grouchy too." Before Jake had even finished his sentence he was trembling with anger._

"_Jake, chill out. He did save my life, remember?" He was still shaking. "Listen, I hate that he's here and that he's my doctor too, but there is nothing we can do about it." I looked at him and I thought I heard him mumble to himself 'I could kill him' which made me glare at him again. "Jacob!"_

"_Sorry. You're right, I'll behave." He sighed and looked at the floor. I chuckled at his "sad puppy" expression…no pun intended._

"_Good boy," I said, smiling._

_End Flashback_

I quietly sighed and brought my hands to my face so I could rub my eyes. The feud between Jacob and Carlisle (and all vampires and werewolves for the matter) was completely ridiculous. Yes, I didn't really like the Cullens, but that didn't mean I wanted them to break out in a full out war any time soon.

Carlisle was handling this whole werewolf/vampire thing a lot better than Jacob was. That doesn't mean that Carlisle wasn't upset about me hanging around werewolves, but telling him that Jacob and his family were there for me when his family wasn't shut him up pretty quickly.

The first time the two were in my room at the same time was actually pretty comical. They both stood on each side of my bad and glared at each other. Their staring contest would have lasted longer if it hadn't have been for Renee waking through the door.

Thank the heavens for Renee!

Renee held the same look of utter confusion that Jamie had the first time he stepped foot in my room to find me and Carlisle staring each other down, except this time it was _Jacob_ and Carlisle.

It took a few seconds before Carlisle and Jacob finally snapped out of their little trance, and when I silently mouthed "Help me" to Renee, they both backed out of the room so Renee could come over and hug me.

Renee wasn't as worried as Charlie or Jamie but she wasn't really joking about it either, as Jacob had been doing. My mother constantly told me how she wished I had taken a job in education instead. Then I would have to tell her that I really loved this job and that this was the first time something like this had happened. That wasn't the whole truth, we have had people shot down on the job, but I wasn't going to tell Renee that.

Renee didn't stay that long because she had to get back to Jacksonville for Phil. You know, the guy Renee married and the reason I moved to Forks in the first place where I met the Cullens and all that crazy stuff?

So now, here I lay staring at the ceiling hoping sleep will overcome me. I didn't even have look up so see who had entered my room. I could tell by the silence as they walked who it was.

"Hello, Carlisle," I sighed.

"Hello, Bella." He gracefully walked to the left side of my bed. "How are you feeling today?"

"Extremely bored. This is the first time…ever…that I haven't had anything to keep me busy or distracted. It's kind of unsettling and very frustrating."

"And what, may I ask, are you trying to distract yourself from?"

"…Thinking." I didn't really want to tell him what I was usually thinking about and I was hoping he wasn't going to ask. He silence told me he knew anyway.

"I'm sorry" he paused, "that you're bored." I could kind of hear the double meaning in his "I'm sorry" but I didn't say anything. "Good news is you won't be bored for very much longer, you can go home tomorrow."

"Hallelujah," I said quietly.

I heard Carlisle chuckle and quietly leave the room.

*~*~*~*

I _finally_ get to go home!

I was sitting on the hospital bed with my legs dangling off the side waiting for Carlisle to come back with a wheel chair. I told him I didn't need one but he told me it was hospital procedure. It was probably smart that I had one though, I had already tried standing up and it was quite painful. The pain isn't nearly as bad as it was at the beginning of the week but it still sucks.

"Ready to go Bella?" I lifted my head to see Carlisle standing in the doorway.

"Yeah." Before I could jump down, Carlisle stopped me.

"Can I talk to you for a minute before you go?" I was hesitant to say yes but I nodded my head anyway. He sighed before speaking. "Bella, I want you to think about what I said at the beginning of the week." I cocked my head to the side slightly, wondering what he was talking about. "My family?" I closed my eyes and groaned.

"Carlisle…"

"I'm serious Bella. I don't know how long I can keep this from them. I think they're already getting suspicious. I doesn't matter how many humans I'm around after you, you're scent is still the strongest."

I stared down at my dangling feet before replying. "I'll think about it Carlisle, but I still don't think I'm ready." I paused so I could think about what to say next. I really didn't want to admit that I missed them, but I did it anyway. "I'm not going to lie to you, I miss most of them. But you don't understand the amount of betrayal that I have felt the past six years." I don't think he missed me saying _most_ of them. "I will think about it, but as of right now, this is where I stand."

"As long as you think about it." I just simply nodded my head at him before he walked over and helped me off the bed and into the wheel chair.

He wheeled me out of the room and outside so we could meet Jamie at his car. Jamie jumped out of the car and rushed over to help put me in the front seat. It made me feel like a little kid again…I didn't like it.

After I was situated, I turned to Carlisle. "Please don't say anything to them. I'll let you know when I figure something out."

"You know where to find me," he responded with a nod of his head.

I let out a weak smile as he turned to walk back into the hospital. After Jamie started the car to leave I turned my head to look at him. He had a look of concern on his face and I just shook my head to tell him to let it drop. He understood. Jamie always knew when I really didn't want to talk about something, and I usually end up telling him about things any way.

*~*~*~*

After Jamie dropped me off at home, he left to go back to work. He didn't like the thought of me being home alone in this "emotional state". I had just rolled my eyes and assured him I would be fine.

After I entered the house, I didn't know what to do. I was under strict doctor's orders to not do anything too strenuous and to just rest. So that probably meant another week of boredom, except this time it was in my own home. The house was already clean since Jamie is a neat freak, so I couldn't do that. After a few minutes of standing in the middle of my living room I finally decided I would sit down a read a book after taking a long, hot shower.

I put my stuff down on my desk in my room and walked into the bathroom. After I stripped down I looked at my self in the mirror. Who I saw in the mirror made me angry. I looked like the frail, broken Bella Swan from six years ago. It took me forever to get that Bella to go away. The thought of smashing the mirror into a thousand pieces crossed my mind a few times but I just got home from the hospital, I really didn't need another visit. Instead I turned around and turned the shower on and stepped in. The water burned my skin at first but I didn't adjust the temperature. I just ignored it until I got used to it.

I stayed in the shower until the hot water turned cold. I stepped out and gently placed a soft towel around myself. I walked into my bedroom and pulled out some comfy sweats and a t-shirt. After re-bandaging my wound I put on my clothes and walked into the living room. I picked up one of my books off the coffee table and curled up on the couch.

I was only a few pages into the book when I heard a soft knocking on the front door. I glanced at the clock on the wall. It read 11:43 am. Jamie wasn't due home until 5:00 and I wasn't expecting anybody so I was a little confused. I hoped it wasn't a salesperson at my door; those people seriously piss me off.

When I got to the door and slowly opened it, the person standing there was definitely _not_ someone I had been expecting.

"Alice?"

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**A/N: Dun, dun, dun... wow this chapter seriously sucked up until the end. I had a small case of writers block so...yeah. The next few chapters should be a little bit better...I hope.**

**And I know I had tons of grammatical errors in my last chapter, that's why I had to re upload it. This time I reread the chapter like three times so I hope it's not too bad.**

**And thank you for all the reviews I have been getting! They make me happy. :) And tell your friends! And don't forget, it won't hurt my feelings if you tell me what I should be doing differently. It was actually someone else who told me to reupload the last chapter, and I'm glad they did. :P  
**

**I think I might actually start advertising people's fanfics, so if you want your story advertised, just review telling me your fanfic's title.**


	6. Is This What it Feels Like?

**A/N: So, I'm in the second half of the last quarter of tenth grade. -Sigh- Time kinda flew away didn't it? Anyway, the point is, it's gonna be kind of hard to update since the year is almost over and all of my teachers are throwing work at us left and right. To prove my point, I started this chapter 2 weeks ago and didn't finish until today. But I will try my hardest!**

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Chapter 6- Is This What it Feels Like?

_Whenever I see you,  
I'll swallow my pride, and bite my tongue.  
Pretend I'm OK with it all,  
Act like there's nothing wrong...  
_……  
_Is this what it feels like to really cry?_

_~ Kelly Clarkson_

I couldn't fucking believe it.

I couldn't believe that Alice Cullen was actually standing there just a few feet away from me. I couldn't get myself to speak. I felt myself open and close my mouth, but I couldn't form any words. It seemed harder talking to Alice than it did to Carlisle. Her presence was even harder to grasp. How did she even know where I lived? A vision? Probably.

After a few minutes of staring, I let out a deep sigh and looked at my feet, unable to look her in the eyes.

"What are you doing here, Alice?" I looked up and saw she was looking at me.

"Hey, Bella." She shifted uncomfortably and looked down at her perfectly manicured hands that were tightly grasped together. "C-can I come in?" she stuttered. I thought for a few seconds before moving out of the way to let her pass. She slowly walked passed me and let out a timid smile.

She walked into the living room as I closed the door and followed her. She turned around just as I was crossing my arms over my chest. I took a second to look her over.

Normally I would say that she looked exactly the same, and she did, sort of. She still had the paleness of a vampire and she was still petite, reaching up to about 4'11". Those simple physical characteristics would never change. What was drastically different, however, were the same things I noticed on Carlisle; the dark circles under the eyes and the lack of spark that used to shine in her eyes. Even the way she was dressed was slightly different. Normally wearing designer dresses and shoes, she was now dressed simply in a tight tee shirt, skinny dark wash jeans, and ballet flats.

I was about to speak to break the silence, but Alice beat me to it.

"I miss you, Bella." My eyes widened in shock but I quickly composed myself. Carlisle had told me that they had all missed me but I didn't believe him. Even hearing it from Alice, I still had trouble believing it, but I could feel my heart skip a small beat anyway.

I kept my arms crossed and looked down at my feet, feeling slightly awkward; I ignored her statement and went straight to my next question, hoping she would actually answer this one.

"How did you find me here, Alice?" I knew I hadn't told Carlisle where I lived. If felt panic serge through me as I thought of Alice having a vision of me here but then I noticed her shrugging her shoulders and quietly answered: "The phonebook." I raised one of my eyebrows at her when she didn't continue.

"What, no crazy vision? You just decided to look me up in the phonebook?" I saw her flinch at the harshness of my voice and I tried to hide the fact that I felt kind of bad for snapping at her.

_No! Stop it Bella. She left you, don't feel guilty!_ I thought to myself.

Alice let out a shaky sigh while fiddling with her wedding ring before speaking.

"Honestly? No." she paused, possibly collecting her thoughts. "Bella, you have no idea how hard it was not to look you up before today. Not seeing you in my visions was torture enough."

What? "What?" I asked aloud.

"I can't "see" you anymore Bella. The last time I "saw" you was a month after we left."

"Why?"

"Why can't I see you in my visions? I don't know. Carlisle thinks it has to do with the amount of time we spent apart-"

"No," I interrupted her, shaking my head, "why didn't you look for me before today?"

The look in Alice's eyes changed drastically with that question. They went from nervous and sympathetic to murderous and angry.

"Because of my dumb ass brother!" I jumped and took a step back. I had never seen Alice so angry. I didn't even have to ask which brother. "He's such an idiot. What gave him the right to force us to leave?" Alice took an unneeded breath and her golden eyes met mine. "I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have snapped."

I crossed my arms again which I had let fall during Alice's outburst, and responded with an "It's fine." I flinched at the sound of my voice. It sounded so weak, so…Old Bella. I hated it. It took me months to get rid of that Bella, and then with the return of a certain family, she is quickly resurfacing.

Before I could dwell on it too much, I thought of another question.

"How did you even know I was in Washington?"

"You honestly didn't think Carlisle could totally cover up your scent, did you?" She said with a smirk. "I noticed your scent when Carlisle came home from the hospital last week. And as the week went by it got stronger."

"I was hoping he could hide it," I mumbled. "Please tell me no one else knows?" The smirk left her face and she sighed.

"No, no one else knows. But they are getting suspicious…but I think they are more confused, if anything. Why were you in the hospital anyway, if I may ask?"

"I was shot," I said nonchalantly. A look of horror crossed her features while I just stared at her. "What? I'm a homicide detective; that happens sometimes."

"A homicide detective? Are you serious, Bella? You got shot?!" Alice started pacing back and forth in front of my while I sat down on the couch feeling the wound stating to throb in a small bit of pain. Bella…if Edward knew about this…what do you think he would do?" I cut her off before she could say anything else.

"I don't give a damn what he thinks! If he can break promises, why can't I?"

"He was just trying to protect you, Bella."

"'Protect me'? Are you serious, Alice? So telling someone you no longer love them is a way of protecting them?!" I shouted as I wrapped my arms around myself; feeling that familiar heartache coming back.

Alice immediately froze and turned to look at me. She looked confused…and angry. "He told you he didn't love you?" She whispered.

It was my turn to look confused. "He really didn't tell you guys the whole story?" I asked; remembering Carlisle's confused face when I asked him if he knew what Edward had _really_ said to me.

"No," Alice said, sitting down on the opposite end of couch, probably knowing I would be that comfortable with her being in such close proximities at the moment. "He just said he told you we were leaving to protect you. He's a bigger dumb ass than I thought," she finished, crossing her arms.

We sat, in what I thought was awkward silence, for a few minutes before I heard Alice shift on the couch. "He lied." My head snapped up and I looked at Alice incredulously.

"What are you talking about, Alice?"

"He lied. He told you he didn't love you anymore. He lied." I shook my head furiously and tried to stand up but failed when I realized how much pain I actually was in.

"Alice, stop. He said… he told me…he didn't…love me."

"We're good liars, Bella. Knowing you, you probably would have wanted to come if the only thing he told you was that he wanted to protect you."

"Well it certainly worked didn't it?" I snapped.

"And he hates himself for it."

"Yeah right," I snorted, sounding like a child.

"Bella, you didn't see him when he came home that night. He looked miserable. We thought he was just taking the whole leaving-to-protect-you thing really hard. We never in a million years would have thought that told you he didn't love you anymore."

She quickly moved over closer to me and ignored the fact that I flinched away from her touch. "Bella, when we left Forks, he didn't come with us. Yeah, he left Forks too, but he went in a whole different direction. He didn't speak to us. He didn't come and visit. He didn't return home until a few years ago when we were living in New York. And even now, we hardly ever see him. He locks himself in his room and just sits there." A dark look crossed her face and she looked pained. "We have to force him to hunt. If we don't, he goes weeks without feeding. It's terrible. Jasper has to leave the house most of the time, he can feel the same pain that Edward feels."

I felt terrible for Jasper. I couldn't even begin to imagine what that must be like, what it must feel to feel every person's emotions including your own.

"Bella, he's slowly losing it."

"What do you mean 'losing it'?" I was kind of afraid to know the answer.

"He's completely losing his mind. It didn't help him when Carlisle came home from the hospital covered in your scent. He thinks he's imagining it."

"Alice, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry? I forgive you?" I shook my head as traitor tears began to fall. "I can't do that. Lying or not, he still said what he said; _nothing_ can change that." By the end of my short little speech, I had slowly stood up and had my back turned towards Alice.

"Bella-"

"Alice, I think you should go." Alice didn't say anything but I saw her pass me and head towards the front door. When she opened the door she turned and looked at me. I looked up at her and the look on her face told me, if she were human, tears would be streaming down her face.

"Bella…we really do miss you, whether you believe it or not." She smiled, but it wasn't a true 'Alice Smile'. Before going out the door, she reached into her back pocket and placed something down on the small table by the door.

Then she left.

I stood in silence for a few minutes, with a few stray tears still falling down my face, before walking over to the table and picking up a small piece of neatly folded paper. I slowly opened it revealing an address and a note from Alice.

Please come.  
~Alice

I rolled my eyes and folded the note again before throwing back on the table and going back to my book.

I looked at the clock; it read 1:25. Alice and I had been talking for about an hour and a half.

"That family is going to be the death of me," I sighed picking up my book.

*~*~*~*

Two days had passed since Alice's little surprise visit and two days since I had to explain to Jamie why I had tear stains on my face. I tried lying, but eventually gave up and told him one of the Cullens had come and visited me.

I had to fight long and hard to get Jamie to believe that I was fine and that I didn't need him to stay home the next day. One thing I didn't tell him about was the note that Alice had left; which is why I was now driving in my car on the way to Cullens trying not to get lost.

I don't know what had possessed me to actually go. I had told Carlisle I would think about it and Alice did look pretty pitiful leaving my house. But that still didn't explain my loss of sanity.

It took me about an hour to reach the beautiful, secluded house. I sat in my car for about five minutes before finally gathering up enough courage to turn off the car and step out. I took in my surroundings. I saw Carlisle's Mercedes, Emmett's Jeep, Rosalie's BMW, and a yellow Porsche which I could only assume was Alice's. What I didn't see, however, was a silver Volvo.

_Thank God_, I thought to myself.

The outside of the house was, of course, beautiful. It looked almost exactly like their old house back in Forks.

I slowly made my way towards the porch and stopped at the door. I took a deep breath and quietly knocked. I didn't hear any moving coming from the inside but then I heard the sound of lock being turned. The door opened and there stood a very surprised looking Carlisle.

"Hello, Bella. I see you really _did_ think about it." I looked down at my hands and let out a small, humorless laugh.

"Yeah, well, Alice's little visit kind of persuaded me, too."

"Bella?" I looked up from my hands and saw Alice standing next to Carlisle. She smiled wildly and threw her tiny self towards me.

"Ouch, Alice, careful." She quickly stepped back and apologized while I placed my hand above my ribs.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so glad you came! Come in, come in." Alice grabbed me hand and this time let go when she felt me flinch away. She slowly led me through the door with Carlisle trailing close behind. "Everybody!" Alice called. "Look who's here!"

I hesitantly walked around Alice to see Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Esme in the living room. They all stared with shocked expressions and it made me feel terribly uncomfortable.

"Hello?" I didn't mean for in to come out as a question but I was so nervous I couldn't help it. No one responded for a few seconds, then, without warning, Emmett jumped up and started for me, but I held my hands up and told him to stop.

"No, don't come any closer." I could see the hurt I caused him when I said this but I quickly explained my reasons why. "One, it might hurt and two…I just can't handle it right now." Emmett gave me a weak smile and held his right hand out for me to shake, which I took.

"It's good to see you again, Bella." I gave him the best smile I could.

"It's good to see you too, Emmett." As much as I wanted it to be a lie, it wasn't. I really did miss my second family. Esme followed Emmett with a handshake and a small smile and then Rosalie right after. I didn't expect Rosalie to shake my hand, and she didn't. When she put her hand out towards me and I went to shake it she pulled me into a small hug.

"I missed you, Bella." When she pulled away I was too shocked to form any coherent words so I just smiled, she gave me one in return.

When I looked around Rosalie I saw Jasper standing up by the couch looking torn. I felt bad so I walked around everybody and slowly made my way towards him. I didn't know what his control was now after six years, but at the moment I didn't really care.

When I reached him I stared at him for a few seconds before hugging him around the waist. I felt him freeze but then relax and slowly wrap his arms tightly around mine. After I pulled away, Jasper smiled.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," I responded, smiling back.

I took another step back while the rest of the family filed in.

"So Bella, how are you feeling," Carlisle asked, after we all sat down.

"Better, it still kind of hurts, but as long as I don't touch it or move too much I'm good." Everyone looked confused as their eyes shifted between Carlisle and I.

"Ok, what's going on?" Emmett asked.

"I just spent the last week in the hospital."

"So it _was_ your scent we've been smelling all week," Rosalie guessed while I slowly nodded.

"What happened? Fall down again, Bella?" Emmett asked beginning to laugh.

"No, Emmett, I was shot." That shut him up. The only two people who weren't lost were Carlisle and Alice, since they already knew.

"What happened, dear?" Esme asked in a motherly tone.

"Man, you really do have bad luck," Emmett said with a snort, but was quickly cut off when Rosalie slapped him in the back of the head. I had to hold in my giggle so I could continue with my story.

"I may have bad luck, but I don't think that was it this time. I'm a homicide detective."

"Wait, wait, wait," Emmett said shaking his head, "Bella Swan, girl who has the ability to trip over thin air is a homicide detective? I don't believe it."

"Well believe it, Emmett, because that's what I do. And honestly, I left my clumsiness back in Forks."

"Well, we're glad you're alright," Esme said. "And I'm glad to finally know the explanation as to why your scent has been filling the house the past few days."

There was another silence before Alice pulled on my arm. "I think you should tell them, Bella." I cocked my head to the side waiting for her to tell me what she was talking about. "I think you should tell them what Edward _really_ told you."

"What is she talking about, Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Alice…I can't…" I said, ignoring Jasper's question. Alice stared me down and I breathed in deeply while looking around the room at the confused faces looking at me. "Alright, fine."

"What happened, Bella?" Jasper asked, surely feeling my discomfort and pain.

"He told me that he…didn't love me," I said, no louder than a whisper.

"He what?!" I heard Rosalie shout. I looked up at her a nodded sadly. "Oh, he is so not going to know what hit him when he comes home," she said through clenched teeth. I felt Jasper send a wave of calm over the room and I looked up to silently send my thanks.

"Anyway," I said, continuing, "three days after my birthday, I met Edward at my house and he told me he wanted to talk." I felt my voice crack and I looked down at my hands that were tightly clasped in my lap. "We walked to the entrance of the forest and that's when he said it." I paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "That's where he said that he didn't love me. I spent the next six months just sort of out of it. Charlie had threatened that he would send me to a shrink if I didn't snap out of it, he even brought Renee up from Florida to try and take me back there." I blinked a few times as Alice softly rubbed my back; she looked at me, encouraging me to continue.

"After Renee went back to Florida, I tried my best to be normal for Charlie. I eventually started hanging out with a family friend, Jacob." I expected Carlisle to jump in and tell everybody that Jacob's a werewolf, but he didn't. "Jacob and I became fast friends, and then I went off to college. There I met my other friend, Jamie." I paused and took another deep breathe. "If it weren't for Jacob or Jamie I would probably still be in the same exact emotional state I was in six years ago." I was practically sobbing by the end. This was the hardest I had cried since I told Jamie the same story six years ago. I had kind of forgotten what it felt like.

After a few minutes of being soothed by my former family, I sat up straight and sent an apologetic smile towards everyone. "I'm sorry everyone. I wish you didn't have to witness that."

"Bella, you may be completely forgiven by you yet, but we plan on fighting long and hard for you. Edward is a complete idiot, and why he said that we'll never know. He always thinks he knows what's best, but he doesn't. And if I..._we_…had known what he really said to you that day, I bet we all wouldn't have listened to him and stayed behind. I know I would." I stared at Emmett in shock. I had never expected something like that to come out of his mouth. "Yeah, I can be deep," he said with a smirk that had us all laughing.

"Well thank you, Emmett. Thank you everybody. You have no idea how bad I want to completely forgive you all, but I just need a little bit more time." Rosalie was about to respond, but instead I saw everyone's heads quickly turn towards the way we had come in, and everyone's face turn hateful.

I was absolutely terrified to look, because I knew exactly what had irked them so suddenly, but I knew I had to. So after taking a deep breath, I turned and looked at the person standing in the doorway.

"Bella?" he asked in complete disbelief. I slowly, and painfully, stood up with the help of Alice and crossed my arms over my chest and held my head high.

"Hello, Edward."

* * *

A/N: This chapter was okay, but it was also my longest so far! :)  
I have Bella cross her arms a lot, LOL. That's actually one of my bad traits, I do it all the time. :P  
I'll try and get another chapter up as fast as I can.


	7. White Horse

_A/N: Hola! Como estan?! Sorry, we're studying for our Spanish 3 final at school so all I think about is spanish. :P  
Anyway, so, yeah, I'm back! Hiya! Lots of stuff has happened in the past few weeks. I [finally] got my driving permit! I waited a year and a half b/c I was absolutely terrified...I'm still terrified. But I had to get to get some sort of I.D. so I could take the SAT...which leads into the next thing. I took the SAT! It sucked...I'll probably have to take it again b/c my testing taking skills are absolutely terrible. I almost gave blood! but apparently my vein was too close to the bone...I guess that's what happens when you lose weight? I dunno. I went to a wedding. It was my first wedding! It was so cool. It was a family friend and we have known them for...forever. It was so much fun. I danced with the bride and the bride's maids, saw my piano teacher, got hit on by many old men, my feet were numb by the end, it was great! :D_

_Anyway, I'm done. I'm sorry I was M.I.A. for a bit there. School's almost over! Two more weeks! would be 3 but I exempted all of my exams (what now?!). haha...oh geez...I"m gonna be a junior... anyway, read on! hope this chapter is good, I wrote it while eating some fruit, so it's a healthy chapter! hahahaha! :D_

* * *

Chapter 7- White Horse

_I'm not a princess  
This ain't a fairytale  
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet  
Lead her up the stairwell  
This ain't Hollywood,  
This is a small town  
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down  
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,  
To come around_

_~Taylor Swift_

Everyone stood very still. Alice was still at my side and the only breathing I could hear was my own. Alice's grip on my arm tightened slightly; if she was having a vision, no one noticed.

After what seemed like an eternity of staring, Edward broke the silence.

"Bella…" I rolled my eyes as Edward repeated my name, only this time it was a question, it was a realization.

I jumped when I heard someone growl. I looked over to see Emmett holding Rosalie back. I suddenly felt a wave of calm fill the room.

It didn't help get rid of the tension.

"You bastard," Rosalie growled from Emmett's grasp. "You told her you didn't love her? How dense can you get?!"

I was not the only one to stare at Rosalie in shock. I still hadn't gotten used to the fact that she spoke to me earlier, now she was basically attacking her brother for me?

Rosalie kept struggling against Emmett as he said, "Rosie, please stop. You know the only thing I want to do right now is pummel him to the ground at this moment, but we have to let them work it out."

"Emmett, let go! _Some_one has to knock some sense into him!"

I turned my head to look back at Edward who looked like he wasn't fazed at all by his sister's words.

"Bella, I…"

"No, Edward. Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it." I released myself from Alice's grasp and took a few steps forward.

I couldn't stand the thought of being in the same room with the one who broke my heart six years ago, and no matter how much I wanted to hear what he wanted to say I had to keep up my façade of being strong when really, I was getting extremely weaker.

The Cullen's return was the reason.

The past few days, I was having trouble keeping my cool. According to Jamie, in the past few days I've become distant. He believes it's only because of Carlisle: he doesn't know the whole Cullen family is back.

I looked at Edward. He looked absolutely terrible. The dark circles under his eyes that resembled bruises and his eyes- oh God his eyes!

"Edward…when's the last time you hunted?" I asked; my voice slightly shaky.

I noticed everyone else's heads turn towards Edward.

"A few weeks ago…" I heard Edward mumble. It was no louder than a whisper.

He still never took his eyes off of me.

I looked around the room of the family that I used to call my own. Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice looked ready to attack Edward out of hate, Carlisle and Esme looked worried, while Jasper looked ready to flee from all of the different emotions.

I shook my head and began to walk forward.

"I have to get out of here," I said.

I walked right past Edward but stopped when I felt something cold and hard grab my wrist.

"Don't touch me." I said it in a way _I_ was surprised how it came out. It came out in more of a plea.

"Bella, please…let me explain…" Edward pleaded loosening his grip on my wrist.

"No," was all I said. I started to pull and realized my vision started to blur and I could feel a few tears fall. "Edward, please let me go!"

"Edward. Let her go," I heard Carlisle calmly say. Edward slowly, and somewhat reluctantly, let me go and I quickly turned around and opened the door.

I ran out and down the steps of the porch. I could faintly hear someone behind me.

"Bella…"

"What, Edward?" I asked sharply. "What do you want?"

"I want to explain. My reasons for leaving."

"What, not loving me wasn't reason enough?" I saw him visibly flinch as a felt the familiar pain in my chest. "What could be worse than telling someone you no longer love them? Because, _Edward_," I sneered his name and put my hands on my hips "that seems pretty damn bad to me."

"But I _do_ love you, Bella!" I froze and I felt my arms drop to my sides. Not only had he _actually_ yelled, but said he still loved me.

Some nerve he had.

If I wasn't pissed then, I was now.

"What the hell is your problem, Edward? You can't tell someone you no longer love them, leave, then return after some time away and declare your love for them again, it doesn't matter _what_ century you're from."

"Hell yeah! You tell him, Bella!" I jumped when I realized the whole family was watching but I suddenly didn't care.

Let them see the new Bella.

Bella 2.0.

I heard a few "Shut up, Emmett!" 's and on a normal day I would have laughed.

But it was not a normal day.

I focused my gaze back on Edward and impatiently waited for his reply.

"Bella, I didn't leave because I didn't love you," I scoffed at him but he ignored it and continued. "God, you have no idea how much I loved you, and still do! That day was hands down the most painful day of my existence. I lied to you, Bella. I didn't leave because I didn't love you. No, I left because my world…it's not for you. I left to protect you!"

"Protection?" I asked with a humorless laugh. "You left to protect me? That, Edward, is the worst excuse I have ever heard." I watched as he cocked his head to the side in confusion, along with most of his family.

He didn't say anything, so I continued.

"Here's one name for you Edward: Victoria." Edward's eyes, if possible, seemed to have darkened even more.

"She came back here," Edward stated. It wasn't a question. "She wasn't supposed to come back here…I…I chased her down south…" I had no idea when he was talking about, and when I took a peak at his family huddled together on the porch, it didn't seem like they knew what was going on either. He didn't even seem to be talking to anyone in particular.

When he started to pace was when I really noticed something was definitely up.

"Edward, what are you talking about?" Edward stopped pacing, but didn't look at me.

"Bella, what happened after we – _I_ – left?" His question threw me off guard. I wasn't expecting him to ask it. Why would he care?

"Why don't you ask one of them?" I asked pointing towards the rest of the family. "They know the story." Edward quickly began shaking his head.

"No, I need to hear it from you." His eyes finally met mine and I had a feeling he had no idea what I was about to tell him.

Bring on the pain.

For him _and_ for me.

I let out a shaky breath, not wanting to re-tell the story…again. It seemed like every time I told the story, the pain that I tried so hard to numb would return.

I looked down at my wrist where the crescent shape bite mark was placed and wrapped my own hand around it.

"After you left…I was numb, with the occasional pain in my chest. I thought it hurt when James bit me, but let me tell you, you leaving hurt like a bitch." I saw Edward close his eyes but he didn't say anything. "I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. When I could sleep I had nightmares. Terrible ones. You starred in every single one of them." I finally looked away from my wrist to look at Edward. He stared at me with pain-stricken eyes.

I ignored the tears falling down my cheeks and kept going. "For months I held on to the hope that you would soon return. I left my window open every night, so if you returned you could come in. For a while I thought I was loosing it. I could hear your voice every time I would do something reckless or stupid." A ran a shaky hand through my hair and avoided Edward's gaze. "I pretty soon began to live off of the voices. Not long after the voices started, I started to search for the meadow. I searched for days. When I….when I finally found it…Laurent was there." I heard a few intakes of breathes but continued. "He told me he was doing some business for Victoria…he was going to kill me. He would have to if…if it hadn't had been for the wolves…"

"Wolves…?" Edward asked hesitantly. I had a feeling he knew what was coming, but he wanted to hear me say it.

"The werewolves." I heard a few more intakes of breathe, minus Alice and Carlisle.

"You don't mean…"

"Yes…the Quileutes. Jacob was one of them." I was afraid of the reaction from everyone who didn't know about Jacob being a werewolf- I was afraid of Edward's reaction the most.

"Jacob…Jacob…Jacob _BLACK_?!"

"Yes…Jacob Black. He was the one who picked up the pieces of my heart that you had dropped." I crossed my arms as my anger was beginning to form again.

"Bella, you were friends with werewolves? Do you know how dangerous they are?!"

"Oh, and you're not dangerous? If I do recall correctly, Edward Cullen, you were the one who told me you wanted to attack and suck me dry the first day we met." The pain that crossed Edward's features almost made me regret the words that came out of my mouth.

Almost.

"That's different."

"How is it different, Edward? If it wasn't for the pack I'd be dead!" I had completely lost control of the tears that fell by now. He was being stupid and hypocritical. Of course I knew the wolves had the potential to be dangerous. I saw the scar that would forever stay on Emily's face.

But how could Edward think that he control me? Tell me who I could and couldn't talk to? Where's the justice?!

"Edward, Bella's right." I looked over to see Carlisle giving me a weak smile.

"But Carlisle…"

"No, Edward. I met Jacob Black. He has no desire to harm her. And let's just say he wasn't happy to see me either," Carlisle added with a small chuckle.

I forced a small smile towards Carlisle as a small 'Thank you' and then turned back towards Edward.

"Bella, please. If something were to happen to you…I don't know what I would do."

"Then do something about Victoria!" I shouted. He was so worried about the werewolves, my friends, the one's that saved my life a countless number of times, but he didn't seem worried about the real danger.

I started to back up and turn around until Edward's pained voice stopped me.

"Bella, please…don't go."

"That's funny, Edward, I'm pretty sure those were the exact same words I said to you before you left." My voice had cracked about four times throughout the whole statement, but it still seemed to get my point across.

Edward's face twisted in pain and I was sure, if he was human, he would have tears falling down his face.

No matter how much it pained me to watch, I didn't do anything. I didn't want to comfort him. I had to live six years of my life believing he didn't love me. Those six years I would never get back. If I had to suffer, so did he.

Sounds hypocritical or cruel? Too bad. I wouldn't give in. Not yet.

I turned to Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice, all standing, unmoving, on the front porch. I stared at them through blurred eyes before saying anything.

"I...I'm sorry…" I finally choked out before quickly turning around and running towards my car.

"Bella, wait!" I heard Edward call, as I struggled to unlock the car door. "Don't go, I love you, please. I'm so sorry. Just give me a chance!" I heard a heart-wrenching sob come out of Edward. My own sob left me as I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again as I turned towards Edward once more.

"Edward," I hiccupped, "stop. You don't understand. I used to have so many dreams of our own happy endings. But now…now it's too late. You can't…you're too late, Edward."

I quickly turned back around and before getting in the car I said:

"Please hunt, Edward. I wouldn't want you to do something you might regret."

With one of my hands, I tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe the tears away as I jumped into the car and drove away.

It was hard to ignore the sight Edward falling to his knees on the ground with his worried family behind him as the rain began to fall.

* * *

_A/N: well dang...honestly, I have no idea how I would react if I had to confront an ex-boyfriend, seeing as how I've never had a boyfriend. That's cool. :) I think I would find it extremely awkward and I would probably stand there like an idiot. :P I hope it was close to your expectations. Please review!_

_P.s- As some of you may already know, a fellow FF author, Daddy's Little Cannibal, passed away this past weekend in a drunk driving accident. She was a fantastic writer and I believe she could've gone very far with her writing skills. She will be greatly missed. Many condolences to the family._


	8. Promise

**A/N: Ok, first things first- If you didn't get a reply to your awesome reviews don't feel bad because I didn't respond to anybody's. I'M SORRY!!!! I suck, I know... So here's one big reply to everybody's amazing reviews- THANK YOU!!! You guys are awesomely amazing and every time I get an email saying I have a new review or story alerts I get really excited, seriously, I jump around like a raccoon on sugar (scary stuff right there). Seriously, you guys are awesome. :D **

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Chapter 8- Promise

_And I promise myself  
I ain't nobody's, I just wanna be free  
And I promise myself  
Even though it don't always come easy  
Gonna learn from my pain  
Never explain  
Do it my way, that's what I say  
Promise myself  
I'm the only one who will believe me_

_~Vanessa Hudgens_

BEEP! BEEP!

_No._

BEEP! BEEP!

_Nooooo._

BEEP! BEEP!

_Shut the fu-!_

"Isabella Swan! Wakey wakey!"

"No."

"Come on! You're going back to work today."

I picked up the pillow that was covering my head and chucked it somewhere towards the overly happy voice that was siding with the annoying beeping of my alarm clock.

"I hate you, Jamie Ashford," I said, glaring at him and shutting off my alarm while he sat there with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Come on," he whined, "it's your first day back to work after being away for three weeks."

"Jamie, you're making it sound like I was on a vacation when I was actually on bed rest most of the time." _Except for when I visited the Cullens_.

I didn't tell him that.

"_And_," I continued, finally sitting up, "I can't even do anything. I'm stuck in the office. I can't do anything too _strenuous_ still."

I had been cleared by Carlisle to go back to work after about twenty minutes of begging. It was actually a mix of begging, glaring, yelling, and whining. Carlisle finally caved and I could return to work _if_, and only _if_, I stayed in the office.

After agreeing with that horrible compromise, Carlisle tried to bring up Edward but I had cut him off.

**FLASHBACK**

"_Bella, Edward says-"_

"_I don't want to know, Carlisle," I said, shaking my head. "If my words hurt him or any of you, I'm sorry, but he needed to hear them." I refused to look at him in the eyes. "Part of me really wants to forgive all of you, Carlisle, but when one goes through that kind of pain and heartbreak…it makes forgiveness almost impossible to give." I could feel an overwhelming amount of guilt wash over me as I finally did look Carlisle in the eyes. He looked pained. "Carlisle, I...."_

"_No, Bella, you are absolutely right," he said with a sad smile. I stared at him in disbelief. If I had said those exact words to a human I probably would have been bitch-slapped or something. "We were the ones that left _you_, Bella. We have no right to ask for your forgiveness so soon."_

"_Yes, but-"_

"_Bella, you have become a strong, independent woman in our absence, and with that, you have told off the whole entire family. That is something most humans would be afraid to do. But it was something we _did_ need to hear. We needed someone to but us in our place. Especially Edward, he needed a good kick in the ass." Carlisle smirked at his final sentence while I let out a nervous laugh. "Don't worry about all this, Bella," Carlisle continued, serious once again. "And don't worry about how we feel, do what you want to do."_

_I simply nodded, not trusting my voice, and released a shaky sigh while standing up. _

_As I was walking out the door, I thought I heard Carlisle mumble "Edward's sorry"._

_I didn't turn around to find out._

**END FLASHBACK**

"ISABELLA!"

"Huh?" I dumbly said, snapping out of my little memory.

"I've been saying your name for the past, like, five minutes. What's goin' on, Baby Girl?" Jamie looked genuinely concerned, but I still couldn't tell him about my encounter with the whole Cullen family.

I tried forcing a smile on my face as I began to get up. "Nothing, I'm fine." He didn't believe me. "Really, I'll be fine. Let's just get this day over with."

Jamie looked at me for a few seconds before standing up and leaving me alone to shower and get ready.

***

A few hours later, I was sitting at a desk waiting for Chad to return from his quick break.

He was currently trying to crack the case of who shot me. All of our assumptions were that the dumb-ass that shot me was possibly the one who shot one of the victims.

_But how did the vampire-victim fit into all of this?_

I leaned my head forward into my hands and groaned as my head-ache threatened to return. Being a homicide detective sometimes felt like one big math problem. The first time you look at the equation you think '_This is impossible_!', then, as you keep trying to work out the problem, it gets easier and easier. When you finally figure it out, it's like a giant light bulb goes off and you feel stupid for not figuring it out earlier.

Right now, I'm in the '_This is impossible_!' stage of the case.

I didn't lift up my head when I heard a soft knocking on the door. Instead I let out a muffled "come in" and ignored the chuckle that came out of Chad's mouth.

"Bored much?"

"You have no idea," I replied, slowly lifting my head back up and running my fingers through my hair. "Did you find anything?"

"You look like shit, and yes we did." I found a pencil lying on the desk and chucked it across the room so it hit Chad square in the chest.

Wait a second.

"Did you just say you found something?" I asked, standing up.

"Are you going to throw anymore pencils or sharp objects?" He asked with a smirk.

"No. Now what did you find?" My question came out in more of a whine but I really wanted to find this son of a bitch that shot me.

"Follow me," was all he said as he walked out the door. I quickly followed until we were right outside the interrogation room. I stopped and looked into the double-sided mirror.

I was about to ask Chad why we were there since it was obviously empty, when one police officer and one interrogator walked in a practically threw a handcuffed man into a chair.

Then I saw him.

It was the black, spiky hair that gave him away. When I tried to chase him down that one day he was wearing all dark clothing, now he was forced to wear a bright, orange jumpsuit.

Something that would definitely make Alice cringe.

"That's him," I muttered, more to myself than anybody, but Chad heard me.

"Joseph Watson. We found his fingerprints on the gun at the crime scene and then used your description of him to track him down." I didn't take my eyes off of the man. He looked calm, too calm. "He had been arrested three days ago. He was pulled over for drunk driving and the possession of an unregistered gun. The same gun he used to shoot you."

"So the bastard had _two_ guns?" I asked, finally taking my eyes off the man and looking at Chad.

"By the looks of it, yes. One to make it look like no-blood guy shot the other victim and another one…well, I guess just because."

"I haven't been involved in many cases, seeing as I haven't been here very long, but this is hands down the most confusing and craziest case I've seen."

"You got that right sister," I turned around to the sound of Jamie's voice.

"Hey Jamie. Find anything out about no-blood guy?" I knew the answer would be 'no' but I had to ask anyway.

"Nope. It's so strange! He has absolutely no blood left in him."

"Don't stress about it too much right now, Jamie, we'll figure it out soon enough." No we won't.

"Hey guys, listen to this." Chad was calling us back over to the double-sided mirror.

I felt my body freeze as I listened to Joe talk.

"It wasn't normal. At first I thought she was just your average slut gettin' it on in the parking lot, except..." he paused to shake his head, like he was trying to erase unwanted memories. "I saw her...she lifted her head for a split second…there was blood on her mouth…on his neck…." He stopped when the interrogator interrupted him.

"Are you saying there's a vampire involved in this case?" I could tell he was trying to hold in a laugh, as well as Chad and Jamie who were both standing on either side of me. I just stood there trying to keep my breathing normal. "And what did this supposed vampire look like?"

"Curly, fiery red hair and she was smokin' hot by the looks of it…."

Victoria.

"This guy's a nut-job," I heard Chad whisper.

"And what about the other victim, did the _vampire_ get him too?" I heard the interrogator chuckle at the word 'vampire' but I saw the look in Mr. Joe's eyes. They turned hesitant and murderous all at the same time. "Well, Mr. Watson?"

"He was fucking my girlfriend," he said it so calmly; almost as if killing someone wasn't a crime.

"Oh, okay. And what about one of our detectives you took a shot at?"

"I don't know what you're taking about?" We all knew he was lying by the way he wouldn't look anyone in the eyes.

"Oh really?"

Mr. Joe suddenly stood up, knocking his chair over. He had that murderous look in his eyes again. "I want my lawyer."

"You'll get your lawyer. Answer the question."

"I won't answer anymore of your damn questions until I get my lawyer."

I didn't listen anymore after that. I slowly backed up against a wall and rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hands.

Why, of all vampires, did _Victoria_ have to be the one to come to Seattle? Right now, she's a vampire wanting revenge. Revenge on me, or Edward, or both. I don't even know. And what about Joseph Watson? A human saw her! That is bound to cause some problems around here. But maybe they'll throw him in the nut-house and everyone will forget all about it.

"Hey, Bells, you okay?" I became alert again and sighed, Jamie is _too_ overprotective sometimes.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Maybe I should drive you back home. You're lookin' kinda pale."

"Jamie, I'm _always_ pale," I chuckled, though it sounded more like I was choking.

"Okay, let me rephrase that, you look even _more_ pale than normal and you keep rubbing your temples like you're in pain."

I didn't even notice that.

"I just have a slight headache. It should go away in a few minutes."

"Jamie's right, Bella. I think you should go back home. I think you started work a little too soon."

"It's been, like, three weeks!" I countered.

"So?"

"Alright, fine, if it makes you both happy, I'll go home," I don't normally cave that easily, but the headache that was forming did hurt pretty badly.

"Alright Ms. Stubborn, let's go," Jamie cheerfully said pulling me by my hand and out to his car.

***

I was sitting on the couch staring at the phone. I knew I had to call Carlisle. I had to call him and tell him about Victoria.

_Stop being such a wuss and an independent bitch and call him! _

Well, here goes nothing.

I dialed the number that Carlisle gave me in case of any emergencies or if I just needed to contact him for any reason.

After three rings, a very professional sounding Carlisle answered the phone.

"Carlisle Cullen speaking." Even though it was a very important call, I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Hello, Carlisle, it's Bella."

"Why, hello Bella. What can I help you with?" This is where it gets tricky.

"Well I-_we_- have a bit of a problem."

"And what might this problem be?" Carlisle started to sound nervous. _I don't blame him_, I'm _nervous_.

"Victoria's in Seattle," I bit my lip waiting for his response.

"Are you sure?" was all his asked. I sighed and placed my forehead in the palm of my hand.

"Yes, I'm sure. The same day I was shot, the crime scene consisted of two victims. One was shot the other was…well his body was completely drained of his blood," I heard a sharp intake of breath before I continued. "Today while I was at work, they brought in the guy that shot me. He said…he said he saw a red-headed woman sucking the blood of- well, you know. So we have two problems: Victoria is back _and_ a human saw her."

Carlisle was silent. I knew he was still there because I didn't hear a dial tone. I was about to say something else but Carlisle finally said something.

"Bella, I need you to call the wolves back in La Push."

"What? Why?" I couldn't put them in danger like that!

"Bella, you need to warn them where Victoria is and they need to know that you are in danger again."

"But-"

"Call them, Bella, you'll feel more comfortable if you have one of your friends there with you than one of us, am I correct?"

"Yes, but-"

"I'm going to call the rest of my family and let them know," Carlisle paused for a few seconds, I'm guessing to allow me to process everything. "You're going to be fine, Bella. We won't let anything happen to you."

I groaned and leaned up against the back of the couch. "It's not me I'm worried about. I don't care what happens me. I don't want anything to happen to the pack or, even though your family isn't on my most favorite people list right now, I don't what anyone in your family to get hurt either."

"Don't worry about us, Bella," Carlisle said with a small chuckle, "right now, worry about your self."

"I don't like worrying about myself," I mumbled. Carlisle chuckled an "I know" before telling me to call the Pack and hanging up.

The phone rang once before Jacob picked it up.

"Hey, Bells!"

"Hey, Jake, what's up?"

"Okay, Bella Swan, I know you don't just call me up in the middle of the day just to ask 'what's up'. And aren't you supposed to be at work today?"

"Victoria's in Seattle," might as well just spit it out and get this over with.

"What?! Bella, you need to come back to Forks," I could hear noises and people talking in the background. I assumed that was Jacob telling everyone else what he just heard.

"No, I can't go back to Forks. I can't put Charlie in any danger; I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"Well then, some of us are coming up there then," I could just see the giant hell-yeah-I-get-to-fight-a-blood-sucking-leech smile on his face through the phone.

"Do I have any chance of convincing you to not come here?"

"Nope. Come on, Bells, it will be fun," now he was whining. Great.

"Sure it will," I mumbled, "And what about Jamie? What am I supposed to tell him?"

"We'll stay somewhere else. He'll never know."

"Jacob Black, I will not let you guys pay for a hotel room."

"Well, we're doing it anyway. And if Jamie does find out we'll just say we felt like visiting."

"Jake, I really don't want any of you to get hurt."

"Geez, Bells, we'll be fine. And I'm assuming you already told the other lee-I mean the Cullens?"

"Yes, they know everything, at least Carlisle does anyway."

"Well, okay then. Nothing to worry about. We'll be there…umm…maybe tomorrow."

"Jake, wait-"

"Bye Bella!"

_Ugh! _was all I thought as I slammed the phone down on the coffee table. I didn't get to fume long because a whole lot of knocking on the door interrupted me.

I got up and ran to the door. Whoever was at the door _really_ wanted to come in. I probably should have looked who was there before I actually opened the door but the day was so crazy so far it didn't even cross my mind to do so.

I gasped when I opened the door and the person there walked right past me.

"Edward, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked as I slammed the door shut again. Edward was busy going through the house like he was on some sort of patrol. "Edward, what-"

"Shh…" I can't believe he just shushed me!

"Edward, damn it, what are doing here?" He finally stopped going through all the rooms of the house and stopped right in front of me.

"I got a call from Carlisle saying Victoria is here in Seattle, you can't expect me to be calm about this."

"I can and I will. Edward, I've taken care of myself for the past six years. I'm twenty-four years old."

"But this is a vampire we're dealing with."

"I don't care! I was also dealing with her _and_ Laurant back in Forks, no thanks to you."

"I'm sorry-"

"Ugh! Stop with the 'I'm sorry''s. You made your choice. You left. Sure, it took me a little while to get over it, but as soon as I did, I promised my self that I would never put myself in anybody's hands again. I don't want to give my heart or soul to anyone anymore. I couldn't even have a relationship with Jacob."

"The _wolf_?"

"Yes, Jacob the Wolf. I wish you wouldn't have such a grudge against the Pack, they _did_ save my life."

"My leaving really did hurt you more than if I had stayed."

"Good job, Cullen. Took you long enough to realize it," I saw him cringe back a little and I instantly hated myself for feeling bad about it. "Listen Edward, you can't just come back and expect to have my forgiveness right away. It's not fair to me. It's been six years without you and with everything that's going on, well, it's a little overwhelming." Edward nodded slightly but didn't say anything. I stared at him for a few seconds before realizing the color of his eyes. "You took my advice."

"What?"

"You hunted."

"Well, I didn't want to do something I would most definitely regret," he said with a smile. It wasn't his true Edward Cullen smile, but it was the first smile I had seen from him in six years.

"I think you should go, Edward," I said calmly. He looked reluctant, but he started to move forward anyway.

"Bella, we will keep you safe and I won't let anything happen to you. And no matter how long it takes, I will do everything in my power to earn your forgiveness, even if that means I have to work side-by-side with the werewolves," he then gently grabbed one of my hands and gave it a gentle kiss before walking around me and leaving.

I could feel a small tingle where his cool lips had touched. I could feel myself slowly falling all over again. Part of me wanted to have him back, to have him holding me in his arms and whispering sweet words in my ear.

But the other part of me was saying "screw him and all relationships in general". I had promised myself that I wasn't going to be anybody's. I want to be free and independent. I'm afraid of going through that sort of pain again.

Besides Alice, who knows what's going to happen?

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**A/N: -Shudders- That was awful...This chapter played out SO much better in my head, but then I went to type it and it was like "how the hell do I word this?!" GAH! So frustrating.  
Okay, so...I tried writing this chapter in Edward's POV, but it turned out to be crap. It was going to be right after Bella told him off. I think this story is going to be strictly Bella's POV but maybe when I'm done I'll do little extras...maybe. :P  
Trailers...I tried making a trailer for this fanfic to stick on youtube but it turned out bad too. I don't have any technological skills at all. I mean, every time I go to post a new chapter for this I always forget how to do it...lame. :P  
School is over! Bye Bye 10th grade! We had our awards ceramony thing, I got a lot of awards from my teachers (...nerd...) AND I'm now on the the National Honor's Society! :) We had to hold these candels and while I was watching it drip, my mind went straight to the scene in RENT with mimi and the candel. :D**

**okay, I'm done, please review and you will get a smile from Edward. :D**


	9. I Don't Want to Want You

**A/N: So...I get out of school for summer break and I get complete writer's block...how wrong is that?! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint too much.  
I passed the 50 reviews mark!!! Isn't that exciting? I was excited. I never thought I'd make to _40_ reviews. :D  
Who saw the New Moon trailer??? I did!!!! I was seriously, like, on my toes. Holy Shiz I loved it! Now I'm super excited! And Taylor Lautner? Mmhmm...yeah, that's all I'm gonna say... :)**

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Chapter 9- I Don't Want to Want You

_I don't want to want you  
but I hate to say I do  
I can't help the way I feel for you  
I don't need to need you  
but what am I supposed to do  
I can't help the way I feel for you_

_~Lesley Roy_

_I will do everything in my power to earn your forgiveness...._

Not long after Edward left, I had thrown myself onto the couch and stayed there. I lied on my back and stared at the ceiling.

I tried not to think about anything.

_Edward._

_Work._

_Victoria in Seattle._

Yeah, the harder you try _not_ to think about stuff, the more you think about it.

I tried my hardest to not think about Edward being at my house just hours before. The worried look on his face as he searched all the rooms in the house. The look on his face as a yelled at him…again. The way the back of my hand tingled, even after he had left, when he kissed me there. As much as I wanted to say that I hated him and wish that he would just go away, I couldn't. I would just be lying to myself.

I couldn't lie and say I hated him, but I couldn't admit that my feelings for him have returned either. It's not like I wanted to fall in love with Edward Cullen all over again. It's the _last_ thing I wanted to do.

But those words! _I will do everything in my power to earn your forgiveness.... _The look in his eyes was total determination. Any normal person would be able to see it. And he was even willing to work side-by-side with the werewolves just to get me back.

I didn't want to want him, but the feelings that were erupting inside of me were ones that I couldn't ignore.

I was in love.

Edward Cullen was somehow wheedling his way back into my shattered heart.

"Ugh, FML," I groaned as I grabbed a throw pillow and held it over my face.

"Woah, is Bella Swan speaking in text language?" My attempted glare at Jamie failed when I started to giggle. It _was_ out of character. Sure, I texted, but I never spoke in 'text language'.

Jamie put whatever he was holding down on the kitchen counter then practically skipped over to the couch I was still currently occupying. Instead of me moving out of the way, Jamie lifted my legs a couple inches off the couch, sat down, and then placed my legs down on his lap.

"Hello, Jamie," I chuckled.

"Hey, Bells, how you feeling?"

"Better. I guess there's just been a lot going on." That was an understatement of the year. It was like my whole world was just tumbling down around me. "Hey, whatever happened to that Watson guy?" I suddenly asked, starting to sit up.

"He was taken into custody. His lawyers are thinking about using mental instability and have him sent to a mental institution instead of jail," Jamie looked disgusted. "I think he should go to jail, "he finished, scowling.

"Yeah, well, we don't always get what we want now do we?" I said looked towards the door. I was thinking of Edward but Jamie didn't need to know that.

"Who are you and what have you done with _my_ Bella?" I looked at him with my eyebrows raised.

"What are you talking about?"

"Normally you would be on some sort of murderous rampage doing everything in your power to have that son of a bitch thrown in jail." I small laugh escaped me as a looked away again. It was true, if someone deserved to be in jail they should be in jail. Mental illness or not. And unfortunately, this guy wasn't crazy.

Well, as far as I knew.

"Alright, something else is bothering you and if you don't tell me Isabella so help me-"

"Jamie, I'm fine, really."

"No you're not. And I have a feeling it might have something to do with a certain Edward Cullen?"

I swear my jaw almost hit the floor. How did he know? Is he psychic too?

"W-what? Psh, no. What are you talking about?" I said, my voice going up an octave as I tried to lie.

It didn't work.

"Alright, fine! It _is_ about him. You happy now?" I surrendered leaning back into the couch and running my fingers through my hair. "Why did you think I was thinking about Edward anyway?" I asked in barely a whisper.

"He and Dr. Cullen stopped by the morgue a few hours after you came home and geez did he look like he had been run over by a truck or something. Actually, he kinda looked like you did when we met," I hesitantly looked up at Jamie and waited for him to continue, "completely heartbroken." I then pulled my legs up onto the couch and hugged my knees to my chest.

"Jamie…" I might as well tell him, "I have a confession to make."

For the next hour and a half, I explained to Jamie that I had visited the Cullens a few days before after Alice had tracked me down and showed up at our house. Jamie listened and cheered when I told him about me lashing out at Edward. He told me he was proud of the fact that I didn't immediately fall for Edward right away and gave him a piece of my mind instead. I then told him how he told me "he would do everything in his power to earn my forgiveness".

"How do you feel about him now?" Jamie asked, breaking a short silence that followed after I finished the full story (minus the vampires and werewolves).

"I don't know," I lied.

"Lie," well damn, was he a mind-reader as well as psychic?

"I…I still love him…" I muttered. Admitting it out loud was hard but it was a relief to let it out.

"Why are you saying it like you've been put on death row?" Jamie asked, starting to laugh.

"Jamie, aren't you the one who's always telling me to 'let him go'?"

"Yes," he said, still chuckling, "but you told him off a few times and got that off your chest, so…you're allowed to feel whatever you want about him now."

I stared at my friend disbelievingly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"You are a strange human being, Jamie," I said, shaking my head.

"But you love me," he said as he smiled.

"True," I chuckled.

Jamie could always get me to smile or laugh in the worst of times. After I gave him a quick hug for being "a great relationship therapist", my stomach growled, announcing I was hungry.

Instead of making dinner ourselves, we ordered Chinese. It was a lot easier, and quicker, to do that instead of cooking a full-out meal.

After we ate, Jamie argued with me about not going back to work the next day.

"Jamie, I'm perfectly fine to go back to work."

"No you're not. You are staying home if you like it or not. One more day isn't going to kill you." It was true, it wouldn't kill me. And with Jacob and the Pack coming the next day, having another day off would actually be a good thing to do.

"Fine, but I'm getting up early to make you breakfast."

"You're not going to give up are you?"

"Nope", I said, smiling because I had _actually_ won an argument.

*~*~*

After Jamie left for work the next morning, I decided to clean up around the house. I started with the kitchen since it was a bit messier than the rest of the house. There were still bowls and pots and pans littering the kitchen counter from Jamie's breakfast. I shook my head at myself as I remembered Jamie's faux-shock about me being up before him.

"_The universe must be shifting at some odd angle; Bella Swan is_ actually_ up before me." I swatted my towel at him as he tried to steal a piece of bacon._

"_I told you I was getting up to make breakfast since you're making me miss yet_ another _day of work. Isabella Swan never lies."_

"_Yeah, because you suck at it."_

"_Hey! I have gotten a lot better at it, thank you very much," I argued, putting my hands on my hips. My lying skills hadn't gotten that much better, but I was working on it. "Now, shut up and eat you breakfast," I finished, setting a plate down in front of him before grabbing my own._

The house was basically spotless by the time nine o'clock rolled around. I had just finished making my bed when someone knocked on the door.

Before opening the door, I looked out the peephole to see the werewolves standing on my doorstep; in human form, of course.

"Jake!" I shouted, flinging the door open. I heard a chorus of "Hello, Bella" as I proceeded to hug each and every one of them.

I shut the door after they all followed me inside. I turned around to face my other family. Seth, Embry, Quill, Jacob, and even Sam, was among them.

"Charlie's staying with Billy, right?" I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to him.

"Relax Bells," Jacob said, putting an arm around my shoulders, "Charlie will be fine. Let's talk about more important matters. Where's this leech that we have to take down?" He paused a moment to sniff, as did everyone else, "And why does it already smell like a vampire has already been?" Embry and Quill left our little circle to go search around the house, I assumed, while I thought back to Edward being here the day before. I had forgotten that they would be able to smell him.

"Oh, that…that's just Edward," I refused to look Jacob in the eye as I said this. I didn't want to see the anger that would be there.

"_He_ was here?"

"The Cullen's are helping too, Jacob. When he found out that Victoria is here in Seattle he got worried and-"

"He was worried? He left you in the woods six years ago and-"

"Jacob," Sam calmly interrupted. I looked at him and silently thanked him for shutting Jake up. "We need to focus more this other vampire that is a danger to Bella and everybody else in this area." Jacob huffed but nodded his head in agreement anyway. "Bella, do you know where this Victoria is?"

"I haven't exactly _seen_ her, but I know she's here. The homicide case we've been working on…one of the victims was well…let's just say he isn't one of your everyday homicide victims."

"Vampire attack?"

"Yes, and unfortunately…the attack was witnessed." This caught everybody's attention, including Embry's and Quill's who had just returned from outside.

"Does anybody believe the witness?" Jacob asked, sounding a bit nervous.

"No, they think he's nuts. He's going to jail anyway for shooting the other victim and…me." Everyone let out a sigh of relief when I assured them that the police didn't believe the suspect.

It was silent for a good two minutes before Sam looked at everybody and announcing that they needed to meet with the Cullens.

"I can't believe I have to actually fight _with_ those bloodsucking leeches," Jacob mumbled, earning a slap on the arm from me.

"Jacob Black, will you knock it off? They're willing to working with you too, even if they don't like it. Can we just all get along for a little bit until this whole Victoria thing is over and done with?"

"Fine," Jacob huffed. I knew he hated have to do anything that involved the Cullens and personally, I thought it was all ridiculous that none of them could get along.

"Bella, can you get a hold of them and figure out a place we could talk?" Sam asked.

"Sure," I said, as I searched for the phone to call Carlisle.

After a quick conversation with Carlisle, we agreed to meet at the Cullen's place. It was big enough to fit everybody and it was a place we wouldn't have to worry about other's overhearing.

I took my car with Jacob riding in the front passenger seat, while Sam, Seth, Quill, and Embry traveled behind. The whole ride to the Cullens, I was having a silent panic attack. My sudden realization of loving Edward all over again was making me a complete mess. Jacob watched me the whole car ride like I was about to stop the car and run back home.

Time passed all too quickly and the next thing I knew, we were sitting in the Cullen's driveway. I didn't say anything as I step out of the car and slowly walked up to the porch. Before I could even think about knocking, the door was flung open by Alice.

"Bella's back!" She shouted, I'm assuming to the rest of the family. She gave me a quick hug and quickly pulled me into the house with Jacob and everybody else trailing behind.

I heard a couple growls all around me as we stepped into the living room to face the rest of the Cullens. I wasn't sure who growled but I knew they came from both families. I nervously looked back and forth from the Cullens to the wolves, silently praying that they would all keep their cool and not attack each other.

I cautiously looked at Edward. I had expected to see him defensive about the wolves being here but all I saw was pain. It took me a second to figure out why he looked so tortured, but when I turned and looked at Jacob, he was staring right at Edward with a smirk that told me exactly what he was doing.

"Jacob, please stop," I pleaded. I saw him frown as he turned to look at me. When I turned back to Edward, I noticed he was staring straight at me. I gave him a weak smile in a way of saying "sorry" and he returned a small one as well.

Before the silence could get anymore awkward, I clasped my hands together and spoke.

"Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and Edward," I kind of choked out Edward's name and I silently hoped nobody noticed, "This is Jacob, Sam, Embry, Quill, and Seth," I took a deep breath before finishing my introduction. "Werewolves meet the Cullens, Cullens meet the werewolves."

This should be interesting.  


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**A/N: I hated it...I know sometimes I'm not going to be extremely happy about some of my writing, but this chapter seriously made me want to throw something. I re-wrote the first part like 10 times then finally gave up and just wrote it. If I think of something else to add in later I might re-write it...again. I'm taking a creative writing class this summer so maybe I can get some tips and stuff. :)**

And if there's a way to edit chapters without taking the chapter down and reposting it, can someone tell me how? 'cause that would be **awesome. :)**


	10. Before the Storm

**A/N: This is, like, the fastest I've every updated. Yay for me! :P  
Again I apologize if I didn't respond to reviews. Just know that I truly appreciate the them, they seriously make me smile, even the ones that are begging me to update soon. I know, that sounds cheesy and kind of cliche, but whatever, I love them. Even just the story alerts and favorites make me extremely happy. Those one's are like hugs. Even if they aren't words, they still make me feel great. Man, I've been all kinds of metaphorical lately. haha!  
Now, enjoy the new chapter. :)**

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Chapter 10- Before the Storm

_Standin' out in the rain,  
Knowin' that it's really over.  
Please don't leave me alone.  
I'm flooded with all this pain,  
Knowing I'll never hold ya,  
Like I did,  
Before the storm_

_~Jonas Brothers ft. Miley Cyrus_

_This is awkward._

That's all I could think as I sat with my elbows resting on my knees and my chin in my hands and watched the silent showdown between the Cullens and the Werewolves.

I could only imagine what thoughts and memories Jacob was throwing at Edward. As I would look around, catching small glimpses of everybody, I was occasionally see Edward cringe and a smirk would grow on Jacob's face soon after.

I would open my mouth to say something every few minutes only to close it again when I would chicken out. Who knows what would happen if you interrupt a vampire/werewolf stare down?

It didn't help that I was one of the four sane people in the room. Esme and I shared the loveseat while Carlisle and Sam stood behind us. I knew Esme was just as uncomfortable and irritated as I was when I saw her role her eyes in my peripheral vision. I also caught both Sam and Carlisle behind me shaking their heads in shame. I was actually surprised at Sam's reaction. He seemed so calm. It was almost as if he had been friends with the Cullens his whole life.

After a few more minutes of silence, I couldn't handle it anymore and I decided I should stop being such a chicken shit and break up this ridiculous stare down. I opened my mouth to say something but before any words could leave my mouth I heard Carlisle clear his throat behind me and began speaking.

"I think maybe me should talk about the problem at hand?" I almost laughed at how there were no signs of movement from either side. I stole a look at Esme as she shook her head, and I swear I saw her mouth 'idiots'.

With still no reaction from anybody, I placed my thumb and middle finger at each corner and whistled loudly like one would do when hailing a cab or an elementary school teacher would do to catch the attention of her students.

I smiled widely when my whistling worked. I only slightly blushed when everyone turned and looked at me. The looks on their faces almost looked as though they had just been caught red-handed doing something illegal.

"Way to catch their attention, Bella," Sam said, patting my shoulder.

"Thank you, now, can we please talk about what we're going to do about Victoria?" I said, rolling my eyes and leaning back into the back of the loveseat.

"She can come back to Forks with us," Jacob suggested, earning a low growl from Edward.

"I will not let Bella go back _you_, mongrel," Edward said menacingly. He didn't look like the Edward I was used to, the one who could pull off pretending to be human everyday, he looked like a vampire.

"Oh, and why not? Are you afraid that I won't keep her safe? You think you can do better?" Jacob shouted, as he and Edward both stood up to stand in each others faces. Edward's eyes were pitch black and Jacob was trembling in anger.

"Hey! Jacob, Edward! Knock it off!" The sound of my voice caused them both to stop and look at me. Edward's eyes lightened a little bit and Jacob took a step back. "I'm not going back Forks. I can't leave Jamie here and if I did, he would ask questions. If I just up and leave, it will raise suspicion."

"We won't all go back. Some of us can stay here and keep an eye on Jamie"

"And what about Charlie? I don't want to lead Victoria straight for him. And my job? I have missed way too much work to miss anymore. We have to figure something else out."

"Fine," was all Jacob said before turning back to glare at Edward.

"Carlisle? Sam? Do you have any idea on what we could do?" I asked turning around to look at them.

"Right now," Sam said, "There's nothing we really _can_ do. We don't know where her exact location is at the moment. All we know is that she's in Seattle." I nodded my head and looked at Carlisle.

"For now, all we can really do is to just keep an eye on the area. We can have someone on patrol wherever Bella, or Jamie, is at the moment; whether it is at their home, work, or here. Or, if Bella decides to go back to Forks, we'll have someone there."

"Wait, wait, wait," I interjected, "what if one of you gets hurt?" With that question, the tension of the situation seemed to have lifted as everyone started laughing. I even saw Esme chuckle a little bit.

"Oh, Bella, you worry too much. You need to chillax," Emmett said, standing up and patting my head like I was five years old.

"Really, Bella, we'll be fine," Quill said with a small chuckle.

"So…who's watching Bella's place tonight?" I heard Seth ask.

"I will," Jacob and Edward shouted at the same time.

"I don't think having you and Edward in the same place would be such a great idea," Rosalie said, standing up to join her husband.

"Yeah, you too might get distracted and not even notice if Victoria slips past you," Alice added. Both Jacob and Edward turned to me for their support.

I put both my hands up and shook my head.

"Oh no, don't look at me. Unfortunately, I agree with Rosalie and Alice."

"And anyway, I can't see a werewolf's future, so if you're involved, it could cause some complications," Alice said with an annoyed look on her face.

"Then who's going to patrol around your property?" Jacob said, glaring at me. He had obviously been expecting me to side with him. I secretly wanted Edward to do it, but I couldn't say that out loud.

"I can do it," I turned my head towards the source of the source of the voice.

"That's a great idea, Jasper," Alice squealed.

"You should bring Emmett," Rosalie added, "it's better having two people watching than just one. Jasper, you could feel for a change in emotions around the neighborhood and Emmett could just be there if Victoria shows up."

" 'People'", Jacob scoffed, "And what about the rest of us? We're not just sitting around just so we can wait for something bad to happen."

"No shit, Sherlock," Rosalie snapped, "the rest of us will patrol the woods around here and also closer to Bella's place, just not _at_ her place."

"Hells yeah! Party at Bella's!" Emmett boomed, causing me to chuckle and Rosalie to slap him up side the head.

"Emmett, there is no party at my house and Jamie can't know you're there, he doesn't even know Jake and everybody else is here."

"Gah, Bella, you're such a downer," Emmett whined.

"Sorry," I said with a shrug of my shoulders. "Hey Alice, is my future still blank?"

"Right now, yes. But that's only because _they're_ here," she responded, pointed a perfectly manicured nail at Jacob. "But when they're not, I can get visions of you, they're just kind of fuzzy, but I can work with it, don't worry." I nodded and looked around the room. Everyone was standing up by now with me standing in the middle.

"So, that's the plan? Just stay on patrol until Victoria shows up?" I asked and saw everyone nod their heads. "Well, I guess that's it then."

"What time does Jamie get off from work, Bella?" Jacob asked.

"Five. What time is it now?"

"Almost twelve. Seth and I can go ahead and patrol around the office until he gets off of work," Jacob suggested.

"Quill, Embry, and I can go patrol the woods," Sam added. "If you're going home soon, Bella, Jasper and Emmett can follow you." I nodded and turned and looked at Jasper and Emmett.

"Are you coming, Bella?" I heard Jacob call from the front door.

"Um, I'll go in a minute," I said, pulling my eyes away from the Cullens and walking over to Jacob to give him a hug. As I gave him the hug, I heard him whisper in my ear "don't stay too long".

After closing the door, I turned around and released a sigh of relief. I was relieved that a full-out war didn't occur in the two hours we were here. I walked back into the living room to find the Cullens sitting back down, minus Esme who was spraying what looked like Febreeze around the room.

"Well that was…interesting," I said, running my fingers through my hair.

"Ugh, you have no idea how frustrating it is not being able to see the future when they're here. One minute, the future's perfectly fine then Poof! It's completely blank!" I felt a wave of calm and I heard almost everyone intake a breath of air.

"It still smells like _dog_ in here," Rosalie said, scrunching up her nose.

"I sprayed almost a whole bottle of air freshener in here!" Esme complained.

"Hey, look on the bright side," Emmett said, "Bella's here. Just focus on her scent, it's 10 times better then those dogs." That statement earned him a growl from Edward, a slap from Rosalie, and a small chuckle from me.

"Emmett," I said, still trying not to laugh, "I think you should have stopped at 'Bella's here'."

"Yeah probably, but it's true," Emmett said with a shrug.

"Emmett, for the love of all that is holy, stop it," Edward snapped, causing Emmett to put his hands up in the air in mock surrender.

"Edward, calm down," I said, calmly. "He's just trying to lighten the mood after the tense morning. I don't know if you noticed, but the tension was a bit thick." I moved so I was sitting on the arm of the opposite couch that Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice were sitting on.

"Oh, I noticed," Jasper said with his hands pressed against his temples, "I could literally _feel_ it." I was surprised he had even noticed during the silent showdown at the beginning, but even if they were all distracted, the feeling of one's emotions can never be ignored.

That's the conclusion I have come to the past couple of days.

I stole a glance at everybody. They all looked slightly different than they did the day I had lashed out on Edward. It was like a candle that had been burned out the past few years had finally been re-lit. They looked slightly happier; like I really was the reason for their happiness.

I glanced over in Edward's direction and caught him staring at me. I looked down at my hands that were clasped together and my lap and could feel a slight blush creeping up my neck. When I looked back up, his head was also faced down but I could still make out a small crooked smile forming on his face. I averted my gaze elsewhere and saw Alice's gaze shifting from me to Edward with a knowing look in her eyes.

Did she know?

Did she figure out that my romantic feelings for Edward have returned?

Hell, she's a psychic, it's highly possible.

After a few seconds of avoiding eye contact with Edward and Alice, I sat up straight and cleared my throat before announcing I should leave.

"Um…I think I'm going to go," I said, standing up. "I need to pick up a few things from the grocery store before Jamie comes home from work."

"You will come back, won't you Bella?" Emmett asked with a hopeful smile.

"I'll make sure I come back," I said with a chuckle. "And remember, you and Jasper are guarding my house tonight." He grinned and stood up to give me a bone-crushing hug. "Emmett…can't…breathe…"

"Oops, sorry," he apologized, putting me back down on my feet.

"Everything will be fine, Bella," Esme said, pulling me into a gentle hug; the complete opposite of Emmett's.

I proceeded to hug everyone else, including Rosalie, but hesitated when I got to Edward. He seemed a bit hesitant as well. He probably didn't want to do anything that would frighten me off. _Ha! Like he could do that. _Instead of turning around and running out the door, like I had originally planned, I stepped forward a step and wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt him tense, but before I could back off, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. The hug didn't last long, for the rest of the family was still in the room and the day had been awkward already.

I said a quick goodbye and started for the door. Before I could get all the way out the door, I heard Alice call out my name.

"Oh, and Bella?" She paused for a second while I waited for her to continue. "I know," was all she said. She winked and I glanced back at Edward as I began to panic. Luckily, he was looking at Alice and he looked quite confused. Alice was, no doubt, thinking of something else so he wouldn't know…yet. I glared at Alice and heard a tinkling laugh coming from her as I shut the door and got in my car to go run my errands.

As I drove in silence, I couldn't help but think about Edward and what I was going to do. Right now didn't really seem like a great time to tell him what my thoughts were, seeing as how we have to deal with Victoria. None of us could deal with being distracted at the moment.

I tried to think of the good times Edward and I had before everything went wrong. Let's say: before the storm? The day he left, it was like a large storm cloud had covered my life. Just like the clouds that covered the Forks sky. Even with Jacob, my sun, the cloud was still there. Waiting. Waiting until I was most vulnerable.

I wanted to go back to the time before the horrific birthday party-gone-wrong. The time where Edward would hold me in silence in our meadow and tell me he loved me every chance he got. I wanted to go back to when I was truly happy.

As I drove and reminisced on the good old times, I saw a flash of red out my window in the corner of my eye that made my heart rate shoot up. I kept driving, but looked behind me in the rear view window.

I didn't see anything.

I thought maybe I was just working myself up and was starting to see things.

Those thoughts quickly evaporated as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I carefully pulled it out, while still keeping my eyes on the road ahead of me. I quickly glanced at the phone and didn't recognize the number. I pressed talk on the phone and answered anyway.

"Hello?" I asked, uncertain.

"We caught Victoria's scent. She's in the area."

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**A/N: Dun, dun, dun.... I think this chapter is one of my better ones. I think my writing's better. I've been going to a creative writing class every week and the teacher says "just keep writing, don't go back over it until you're done, just write." and that's what I did. :) I promise the good stuff is coming! Next chapter! :D  
Song choice? I know, kinda strange. I don't really like the jonas brothers, but I absolutely adore that song and I think it fits Edward & Bella perfectly.  
Well, until next time, my loves! :D**


	11. Bliss

**A/N: Let me start out by saying: I am so terribly sorry!! You have no idea how bad I feel for taking this long to update. It seems like my writing muse has gone on vacation. But that's really my only excuse. I'M SORRY! :(**

Thank you to those of you who reviewed/alerted/favorited. They're weren't many this time, but even just one makes me happy. :)

**Now I know I'm late but: R.I.P Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, & Billy Mays. It seriously wasn't a good week for celebs.**

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Chapter 11- Bliss

_It's joy, it's ecstasy, it's truth, it's destiny  
To tell you how you make me feel  
It's faith, it's honesty, it's life, it's everything  
To say "I love you is not enough  
To tell you how you make me feel…  
It's in your smile, it's in you kiss  
It's the reason I exist  
There's only one word for this  
It's bliss_

_~Alice Peacock_

The hand that I kept on the steering wheel tightened as I tried to keep control of myself and processed the words coming out of the phone.

"E-Edward…are you sure?" I knew he wouldn't lie about catching Victoria's scent, but I was I was in complete denial and I refused to believe that she was somewhere this close to me.

Edward ignored my question, probably assuming I knew he wasn't joking, and immediately tried to calm me down.

"Bella, listen to me: you're going to be fine. None of us will allow her to get to you."

"You're making everything sound so easy," I sighed, "Like it will all be over in the next five minutes."

"Maybe it will be."

"Edward, that's what the government always says right when a war breaks out," I said, my voice getting a little louder. "You were alive during World War One, you should know. It's not like we can come up with some ultimatum to get Victoria to just leave me alone, we killed her _mate_!"

"_I_ killed her mate."

I scoffed, "Yeah, well, if I hadn't have shown up, the whole James incident never would have happened."

"Bella," he groaned, "stop blaming yourself. Maybe you're right-"

"I _know_ I'm right."

"Let me finish," I rolled my eyes at him even though he couldn't see me. "Maybe you're right about it taking longer than we think. This is something even _Alice_ can't predict. It might take a few days, a week, a _month_. Who knows? But what I _do_ know is that I will keep you safe and I won't let _anything_ happen to you. Bella, I may not be on your list of favorite people right now, but my love for you will never go away and if something were to happen to you…I- I don't know what I would do."

I couldn't stop the flow of tears that slowly made their way down my cheeks. What was I supposed to say to that? He was trying to prove himself to me, just like he promised. Alice must not have told him about my new found love for him or else he wouldn't be trying so hard to gain my trust back. Or maybe he would. He is Edward Cullen after all.

"Bella? Are you still there?" I wanted to laugh at him for being so absurd in thinking that I had hung up on him, but then I remembered that I was the one who had been a cold-hearted bitch to him the last couple of weeks.

"I'm still here," I choked out, wincing at the weakness of my voice.

"Oh, Bella," Edward said, detecting my mini breakdown. I new it wasn't smart to be this upset and drive at the same time.

"I'm fine," I said, trying to compose myself the best I could, "Edward, I need to go to the grocery store; do you think Jasper or somebody could follow me there?" I didn't like the thought of being followed around like a little kid, but I knew it was probably a good idea with Victoria out there.

"Sure, I'll have one of them meet you there," he hesitated for a short second before speaking again, "Bella, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. No…I don't know," I had to laugh at myself for my pathetic excuse for an answer. "Edward, are you…can you..." ugh! Why couldn't I just get a simple sentence out my mouth without stuttering like an idiot? "Edward, do you…do you think you can stop by my place later? Before Jamie gets home from work?" I lightly bit down on my bottom lip as I awaited his answer.

"Of course, Bella." I couldn't help but smile as he answered but the smile turned into a frown when I realized I was already at the store. _I had been driving for thirty minutes?_ It didn't feel like it.

"I should go. I'm in the parking lot," I told Edward.

"Okay, Love. Jasper should be there waiting for you there," when I turned the car off and looked out the window, there stood Jasper at the store's entrance.

"I see him, he's here."

"I'll see you later then, Bella."

"Bye, Edward," I said, and quickly hung up before I got all emotional again.

I quickly go out of the car and pretty much sprinted the rest of the distance from my car to Jasper.

"Hello, Bella," Jasper greeted me as I walked up to him.

"Hi, Jasper. Thank you for doing this."

"It's no problem, Bella. Anything to keep you safe." He gave me a smile as I walked past him and entered the store.

I walked around the store gathering everything I needed for a simple spaghetti dinner with Jasper trailing closely behind without a word; this is until I got to the alcohol.

"I didn't know you drank, Bella?"

"I don't. Well, not a lot anyway, only when I really need it. And tonight? I need it." He chuckled as I placed the wine bottle into my shopping basket and continued strolling down the aisles. "And besides, Jamie drinks a lot more than I do. While I have comfort food, he has comfort drinks."

I have seen Jamie drunk on more than one occasion and it is quite the sight to see. He usually goes off on some tangent about something that really bothers him in today's society; global warming, the government, that kind of stuff. It's actually quite hilarious.

After paying for the groceries and asking Jasper if he wanted a ride to my place, we were putting the bags in the back seat and driving to my house. There was a comfortable silence and I felt unusually calm. _Thank you, Jasper_.

The silence was broken when Jasper suddenly asked me if I had ever been drunk. I laughed out loud and slowly nodded my head.

"Once, on my twenty-first birthday. Jamie insisted I get some alcohol in my system to try and get me out of my…_funk_…for lack of a better word."

"_Funk_?" He must have felt my hesitance because he quickly started apologizing. "Oh, never mind, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Jasper. To be completely honest, the alcohol worked. I hardly remember anything from that night. All I know is that I had a raging headache the next morning."

"I'm going to assume that's the reason you don't drink?"

"That's _exactly_ why," I grinned, "The hangovers are not worth it."

"I know you still love him." I let out a sigh and thought that I might as well admit it. _No use in denying it anymore_.

"I do. Did Alice tell you?"

"She did," he chuckled, "but remember, I'm an empath. When you were leaving our house this morning, I felt so many emotions coming from you. Confusion was the strongest one."

"I _am_ confused."

"Why?"

"He tells me he loves me then he leaves. After he leaves, I'm completely heartbroken. So heartbroken it hurts. Why do I still love him? I should hate him. Either hate him or just be completely over him."

"Soul mates," Jasper answered quietly. "It's unusual for a human and a vampire to interact, let alone be connected in a way that you two are. When a vampire mates, we mate for life, so the separation between you and Edward was painful. If Alice and I were to be separated, we would feel that same pain."

"So no matter how much I thought I hated him the past six years, I couldn't?"

"Nope."

"Of course not," I mumbled. "Jasper, did you ever think about becoming a psychiatrist?" I asked, still trying to wrap my mind around the concept of soul mates.

"I have. But I don't know, being an empath has its perks but it can get extremely irritating," he said with a smile.

"Jasper, can you not tell Edward about this conversation? I- I'd like to talk to him about it myself," I said as I turned into my neighborhood.

"I'm assuming that's why he's standing on you're porch right now?" I looked up and sure enough, there was Edward standing there with his hands in his pockets talking to Emmett.

"That's exactly right," I replied, my voice shaking as I realized how nervous I actually was.

"You'll be fine, Bella. Emmett and I will try not to listen in but we still have to stay close enough."

"Thank you, Jasper," I said, taking on hand off the wheel and giving his light squeeze.

I turned into the driveway and turned off the car. As I was taking the key out of the ignition, Edward was already opening my door to let me out.

_Such the gentleman, _I thought as I unbuckled my seatbelt and stepped out of the car. I gave Edward a small smile and started unloading the groceries from the back seat. While Emmett and Jasper veered off in different directions, Edward followed me inside.

We were both silent as he helped put the food away. I didn't buy much, so when the food was put away there was nothing else to delay the talk that I really needed to have with Edward.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Edward asked, leaning up against the counter and crossing his arms across his chest. I tried to ignore the way his muscles moved in his arms and stared down at the sink in front of me.

I inhaled deeply as I thought about starting the dreaded conversation, but a different question crossed my mind.

"Edward? How did you get my number?" I almost laughed when he moved one of his hands to rub the back of his neck in a way that told me he was nervous.

"I…uh…got it from Carlisle." He looked away from me and I knew if he could blush, he would be.

"Of course you did," I mumbled. At the corner of my eye, I saw Edward compose himself and look at me again.

"I am going to assume that that wasn't the question you wanted to ask?"

"You assume correctly," I said, standing up straight and reaching out my hand for Edward to take. He seemed shocked, but quickly took it as I began to walk towards the couch in the living room.

I sat down and curled my legs underneath me. I watched as Edward slowly, and hesitantly, sat down beside me.

"I don't bite, Edward. Relax," I told him, taking hold of his hand again. His hand tightened around mine and a small smile began to form on his face. "Do you miss it?" I asked softly, causing him to look up.

"Miss what?"

"This," I looked down at our intertwined hands, "us."

"More than you'll ever know."

"I know more than you think," I said, so quietly I could barely hear myself. Edward remained silent so I took that as my chance to begin. "Edward…I know you think I totally despise you right now, and honestly, I thought I would too. But…I _don't_."

"Bella-"

"No, I have to say this." I stayed silent until Edward slowly nodded. "The past six years, I'll admit, I've been a mess and I _was_ angry. But I've recently learned that my anger was actually denial."

"Denial?"

"Edward…I- I can't deny my love for you anymore. I've tried but I just _can't_."

I lifted my head to look at Edward. He wasn't looking at me, but our still intertwined hands.

"Bella…you don't…you don't have to say you love me. I hurt you and I deserve any bad name or bad feelings you have for me." Edward closed his eyes and, instead of removing his hand from mine, his grip tightened the smallest amount. I rolled my eyes and shifted closer to his side on the couch.

"Edward, I'm not saying I love you because I feel guilty of what I've said to you. If you don't believe me, ask Jasper and Alice. Kudos to both of them for being able to control your thoughts around you." I saw a smile playing at the corner of Edward's lips.

"Is that why I've been listening to Alice explain Descartes' rule of signs and Jasper explain the laws of gravity and motion?"

"Probably," I said with a chuckle. Edward looked at me and I knew he was looking for something that would make him believe I really was saying I loved him to relieve the guilt.

But he would never find it.

He opened his mouth to speak but I quickly cut him off by attacking his lips with mine. We were both still for a second before we both began to move our lips at the same time. His lips were cold against mine and I realized how much I really did miss him.

I tried to focus so I wouldn't get too out of control. I wasn't sure how much Edward could handle. As I was thinking about pulling back, I was suddenly no longer sitting next to Edward, but sitting on his lap. Straddling him. Edward had on hand resting on my hip while the other was tangled in my hair as he pulled me closer.

I quickly pulled away when I realized I needed to breathe. I relaxed and leaned my forehead against Edward's. His eyes were closed and he wasn't breathing. I was afraid I had gone too far and he was going to realize this was all just a mistake.

I started to shift so I could get off of Edward's lap and give him his space but his cold, pale hands gripped my waist and kept me from moving.

"Don't," Edward said. His voice was low and huskier than normal. My brown eyes met his slightly darker ones and it was my turn to stop breathing.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"What? Why are _you_ sorry?" Edward asked, lightening his grip on my waist so I could move off of him.

"I didn't mean to…you know…lose control like that." I could feel my face reddening as I spoke and I looked down at my lap to hide it.

"Bella," Edward laughed, taking my chin to lift my head so I could look at him, "you're just as guilty as I am." His eyes weren't as dark and he was breathing normally again. He moved his hand to cup my cheek. "You really do love me."

All I could do was smile and nod. He took that as a good-enough answer because soon enough his lips were on mine again. The kiss wasn't as forceful or rough, but gentle and soft and enough to satisfy.

"I missed you, Edward," I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him.

"I missed you, too. So much," he replied, hugging me back, tightly around my waist.

I wasn't sure how long we sat there holding each other. I didn't care. I like it right where I was: in the arms of my angel.

Sooner than I would have liked, Edward's hold on me loosened and I sat back so I could look at him. He looked better than the last time I saw him. He no longer had the bruise-like circles under his eyes and his clothes were no longer a wrinkled mess. His hair had remained disheveled on the top of his head, no help from my fingers that had run through it earlier.

"I love, Edward."

"I love you, too, my Bella."

After I made myself a simple lunch, consisting of a ham and cheese sandwich and a coke, Edward and I spend the better part of the afternoon cuddled on the couch. Edward talked about his family, minus him, moving to Ithaca, New York and Alice learning some things about her human life. I couldn't help but express my opinion on Alice's parents sending her to an asylum. It just seemed like all kinds of wrong.

I told Edward my crazy college stories, though there weren't many. I told him the same story I told Jasper about my first time with alcohol. Edward just shook his head and smiled at that story.

Jacob called around four to tell me that they had caught Victoria's scent but they didn't see her. Jasper and Emmett also came in to say the coast was, so far, clear.

Around 4:45, I heard a car pull into the driveway and I quickly got up to glance out the window.

Jamie was home early.

"Oh, God," I muttered, stepping away from the window.

"What's wrong," Edward asked, his smooth, velvety voice laced with concern.

"Jamie is home. You have to go." I tried to push him towards the back door, but he wouldn't budge. "Edward…"

"Hey, you can't hide me forever." He wanted to meet Jamie? I bit down on my bottom lip and groaned as I nodded.

"Alright. Fine. But please don't take anything he says, thinks, or does too seriously, okay?"

As Edward nodded, the front door opened and Jamie stepped through. He stopped when he saw Edward behind me and his eyes shifted from me to him.

"Hey you're-"

"Jamie, meet Edward Cullen. Edward, meet Jamie." I could see the wheels turning in Jamie's mind as he and Edward shook hands. He didn't even seem to notice the temperature of Edward's hand.

"So you're the dumbass that broke my poor Bella's heart," Jamie bluntly said, causing me to slap my hand to my forehead. Edward then surprised me by chuckling.

"Yes, that would be me, and I have been living in regret after making the greatest mistake of my life."

"I approve, Bella. He admits to past mistakes," Jamie said with a smile. "And he's not bad looking," he whispered to me.

"Well damn, Jamie. I was sure you were going to beat him up the second I introduced you. Or shoot him."

"No way, Isabella, I'm a lover, not a fighter." Then as an afterthought he added, "And besides, that's Charlie's job."

"Yeah, okay," I scoffed. "Wasn't it you that threatened that drunken guy that you would 'beat him up so bad the world's best plastic surgeon wouldn't be able to fix him' a few months ago at that bar?"

"He was getting handsy. And that was a few months ago. I've changed," he said with his hands over his heart.

"Uh huh," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Still a danger magnet," Edward sighed.

"No," I exclaimed, the same time as Jamie muttered "yes".

"Don't think I won't hurt your pretty face if you break my girl's heart again, though," Jamie stated, pointing at Edward, who just nodded.

"Jamie, don't you have something to do?" I asked, glaring at him.

"I do, actually. I'm going out tonight," Jamie grinned.

"Hot date?" I teased.

"Yes, ma'am." His smile widened. "And I only have half an hour to get ready, which is hardly enough time," Jamie said, as he scrambled to his room.

"There you have it, that's Jamie," I said, turning to Edward. "His thoughts weren't too terrible were they?" I asked, my bottom lip finding its way between my teeth again. Edward, surprisingly, laughed.

"Most of them were actually about whether or not I was a model and what I would look like without a shirt on."

"Ugh, sorry." Then another thought hit me. "You know, I wouldn't mind knowing that either." I stepped closer so that our chests were pressed together and I could feel his cold breath on my face.

"Not now, Love," Edward said, barely above a whisper, as he brought his face down to skim my jaw-line with the tip of his nose, causing me to shiver.

I quickly composed myself, however, when I heard the five o'clock news coming from the television. I normally ignore the news unless it has something to do with murder or missing people, and may involve homicide detectives.

"Edward, listen to this."

_Three more people have reported missing here in Seattle, adding to the five people who were reported missing earlier this week…._

"You don't think-."

"Victoria," Edward quietly said, answering my unfinished question and confirming my unspoken thoughts.

"Do you think they're dead?"

"Possibly." Then he added "but she could be building an army."

"What's worse?"

"An army." His eyes darkened at each question he answered.

"Why?"

"An army of newborns? One's bad enough." He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "She knows the wolves are here. She must think that with an army of newborns she has a higher chance of winning."

"And does she?" He was silent a moment too long and that made me think I didn't want to know the answer.

"Yes."

* * *

**A/N: There's a lot more dialogue in this chapter. I'm sorry if a lot of it is a lot of "blah blah blah". I tried. And the makeup/kiss? I have no idea how to write that stuff. I've never done either. :/ Sorry if it's kinda awkward or not long enough. I really did want "The Talk" to be a lot longer, but like I mentioned in the AN above, my writing muse is currently M.I.A.**

**I'm leaving Sunday morning to go on this Business Week thing that's a few hours away and lasts...well...a business week. :P I can write some of the next chapter tomorrow and Saturday, but that's it. And I won't be back until next Friday night. I hope I don't end up making you guys wait this long again because it sucks, I know. :)**

**Please review and let me know what you think! :D**


	12. The Huntress

**A/N: I'm lazy...that's my excuse and I'm sorry. I thought I would update more during the summer months but so far that hasn't happened yet. I got back from my Business Week thing (which was very intersting, BTW) and I went right back into lazy mode. Sorry. I started to feel extremely bad when i was getting reviews begging me to update. :( Sorry again. :)**

Thank you to those who reviewed/favorited/alerted!!! :D

* * *

Chapter 12- The Huntress

_If travel is searching  
And home what's been found  
I'm not stopping  
I'm going hunting  
I'm the hunter_

_~30 Seconds to Mars_

After watching Jamie go out the front door with a "don't wait up for me" and a wink, I turned and blankly stared at the television. I could sense Edward sitting beside me but I couldn't get myself to focus.

There's possibly an army of newborn vampires in Seattle.

An army possibly controlled by Victoria.

_Victoria_.

I shuddered at the thought, an action that Edward did not miss. I felt myself jump a little when Edward placed his hand on my knee that I didn't even realize was bouncing due to my current anxiety.

"Bella, everything is going to be fine." He seemed to be saying that a lot lately.

"Edward," I said, my voice cracking, "You just said that she has a higher chance of taking us out."

"I did," he nodded, "But that doesn't mean she can." Edward gently grabbed both of my hands and brought them to his lips. I blushed, slightly, causing him to smile. "There's my family and the wolves. This will be over before you know it."

I didn't believe him. Not one bit.

I opened my mouth to argue some more but a yawn escaped before I could even take a breath.

"Bella, love, maybe you should go to bed. It's been a long day."

"Edward, I'm not four years old and it's not even five thirty yet." I was exhausted but there was no way in hell I was going to bed now. Though my body was exhausted, my mind was running.

Edward's phone began to ring before he had a chance to argue or agree. He quickly pulled the small cellular device out of his pocket and scowled when he looked at the screen. He stood up and began talking at a speed that didn't allow me to understand.

I watched as he nodded, shook his head, and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers a countless number of times. He seemed worried, stressed. Though he was putting up a perfect façade when talking to me, I knew better. He was just trying to protect me. Again.

After ending the phone call, and with his back still turned toward me, I heard a sigh escape from his lips. I quietly stood up and walked over to him.

I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, feeling him tense up for a split second before pulling me around to face him.

He pulled me into his chest and held me tight. I didn't protest, instead I just pulled him tighter to me.

I don't know how long we stood there, but I instantly wanted Edward back the second he pulled away. He chuckled as he said "you must be hungry, Love".

"No, I'm fine." Of course my stomach decided to growl that very moment.

"Damn it," I mumbled.

"You know, Bella," I looked up at Edward to see a serious expression plastered on his face, "a lady shouldn't talk like that," he finished, smirking.

He fucking _smirked_.

"Oh? Try me." I crossed my arms over my chest and tried my best to glare at him. He feigned terror causing me to childishly stick my tongue out at him.

I heard Edward laughing as I walked towards the kitchen to make myself a simple spaghetti dinner. My scowl left my face and was replaced my own giggle.

I fucking _giggled_.

But really, I couldn't help but laugh a little bit, even if it was a giggle. It had been so long since I'd heard Edward laugh. And simply put, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Edward stood against the entranceway to the kitchen as I walked around and gathered everything I would need for my dinner.

Spaghetti noodles? Check.

Spaghetti sauce? Check.

Two pots? Check.

I placed everything I needed on the counter. I filled the small pot up with water and turned on the gas burner, allowing the water to boil. As I waited for the water to boil, I put the spaghetti sauce in another pot to heat up and cut up a couple of vegetables to make myself a small salad.

After the water started to bubble with heat, I placed some noodles into the pot. It didn't take long for the noodles to cook, and not too much time later I was sitting at the small table with my plate of food and Edward at my side.

"What?" I asked when I caught Edward staring at my food.

"It just looks so…" I couldn't help but laugh as a look of disgust crossed his face and he scrunched up his nose.

"Well guess what? You don't have to eat it," I smirked.

"Ha ha, you're funny," he said dryly. I was about to apologize for making fun of him but I saw something in his eyes that let me know he was joking.

So instead of apologizing profusely, I laughed and took one final bite of my spaghetti.

When I stood up to take my plate to the sink, Edward stopped me by grabbing my wrist. "Let me," he said, taking hold of the plate.

"Edward, you don't have to."

"I want to."

"Okay." I didn't really feel like arguing with him.

Before he walked over to the sink, I gave Edward a quick kiss on the cheek and left to go into the living room. We both decided to watch a movie to pass time. I picked out a random movie and stuck the disc into the DVD player.

I tried to focus on the movie that was playing, but with Edward in such close proximities, I couldn't do it. However, I was doing better at attempting to pay attention as him. Edward had an arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders and he was looking directly at me. I could see him staring in my peripheral vision and he didn't look away once. It was a little unnerving, to say the least, being stared at for two and a half hours but I ignored it and snuggled up closer into his side.

Around eight-thirty, the movie ended. Edward didn't show any signs of moving and neither did I. I was completely content where I was.

"Bella, love, I think this time you should head to bed," Edward said as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Not tired," I responded, but I'm sure it came out as "Nt tird". Next thing I knew, I was being picked up bridal style and taken in the direction of my room. Edward sat me down on my bed but I quickly got back up and grabbed my pajamas and made my way towards the bathroom.

After changing my clothes, I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face. I walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom to find Edward standing in front of the window.

"Can you stay?" I timidly asked. He quickly turned around from the window to look at me.

"You want me to stay?"

"Of course I want you to stay. Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "But of course I can stay."

Edward climbed into the bed next to me, but not before making sure I was comfortably tucked into the blankets. He wrapped his arms around me as I placed my head on his chest. He started to hum the familiar tune and it made me smile. It almost felt like the past six years didn't happen.

Almost.

"Who were you talking to earlier?" I suddenly asked, surprising myself. It didn't occur to me that I didn't ask after the mysterious phone conversation.

Edward seemed to hesitate before answering. "Alice," he said. That calmed me down a bit but I didn't understand why he hesitated.

"What did she need?"

"She was just calling to make sure we knew about the odd disappearances in Seattle."

"Oh." I knew there was more to it than he was saying but I decided to let it go. For now.

*~*~*

I woke up the next morning to find it eerily quiet. I felt around the bed with my hand looking for Edward, but found his side of the bed empty.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked around the dark room. The only sound was the pouring rain and rumbling thunder coming from outside, which made the eeriness even more…well, eerie.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table and it read 7:27am. I groaned at the time and rolled onto my stomach and looked out the window at the dark cloud covered sky.

My eye caught the sight of a piece of paper placed in the center of the pillow next to the one I was using.

It was from Edward.

_Bella,_

_Didn't want to wake you. _

_Went to help patrol the surrounding areas._

_Love you,_

_Edward._

I felt bad that they were all out there during this storm. The storm wasn't too terrible now, but something told me it wasn't going to get any better.

I threw on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved black t-shirt and quietly tip-toed out of the bedroom. I walked past Jamie's room and noticed no one was in there and the bed was still made.

_Wow, I'm glad we didn't wait up for him_, I thought, laughing a little.

I made my way into the kitchen and started making myself some coffee. I didn't drink much of the stuff but I occasionally did if I really needed to wake up. And with everything going on, I needed to be on full alert.

I was rinsing my coffee cup out in the sink when I heard a knock on the front door.

"Coming!" I shouted, turning off the tap and through the living room to answer the door.

Only I didn't have to.

There, standing in my living room with a _look_ that could kill, was my worst nightmare.

"Victoria," I breathed out. I was surprised I could get _any_ words out. I was already beginning to panic and I began backing up until the back of my knees hit the small coffee table in front of the couch.

"Well, well, well, Miss Isabella," Victoria sneered. "Look at you all grown up." I frantically began looking around; hoping one of the Cullens or someone from the Pack would be here already.

She must have caught my searching because she began smirking. "Don't bother, Bella. They're all caught up with the others."

"How many are there?"

"Eleven," she answered, completely nonchalant about it.

"Eleven? It was just eight yesterday!"

"I was desperate," she shrugged. "Now, why am I here again?"

"Victoria, please…" I begged.

"Oh yes…revenge." Her smirk had left her face and was replaced by a deadly glare. "Do you know what it's like to lose somebody you love, Bella?" She didn't give me a chance to answer. "Well, I do. And you're going to pay for it. Mate for mate."

"'Mate for mate'?" I knew what she was talking about but I was trying to stall as long as I could until somebody could get here.

"Yes, 'mate for mate'. Your dear Edward killed my James so I have to suffer for the rest of eternity and I am going to make sure Edward has to do the same." She suddenly scoffed. "Why does he care so much anyway? You're just a human."

The next thing I knew Victoria was standing in front of me with one hand wrapped around my neck, cutting off any source of oxygen.

The bitch laughed as I continued to struggle and the tears made their way down my cheeks. "I think I want to play for a while before I finish you off," she growled before throwing me to the side where I hit the wall behind the couch. I practically bounced off the wall making me land on the couch before rolling off and hitting the side of the coffee table.

I could hear Victoria's cackle as I struggled to move while bringing oxygen back into my lungs. I could smell the rust and salt from the blood dripping from my head. I ignored the smell and the pain and still tried to force myself up.

Before I could get very far, Victoria grabbed hold of my upper arm, causing it to crack and me to scream out in pain.

"Edward!" I tried shouting his name but it came out in a quiet whisper.

"I don't think your Edward can hear you. If he hasn't been finished off by the newborns yet the storm has gotten worse, so I bet he's deaf to everything around him."

She was right. The sky seemed to have darkened even more and the thunder had gotten extremely loud. I hadn't noticed it with the loud pounding in my head.

Before I could get another thought in, I was being thrown across the room again. I felt my back hit the television, causing it to fall onto the floor with a crash. I landed on the floor with a thud and didn't even make the effort to move.

_I'm going to die_, I thought as I tried moving my legs. I began to panic more when I realized I _couldn't_. I couldn't move anything below the waist.

A strangled sob left my body as blood began to pool around me. I wasn't sure which part of me it was coming from. I noticed a sharp pain in my back and realized a piece of glass from the television was jammed between my shoulder blades.

My vision had already begun to blur and it seemed like the whole room was spinning, even while lying down. I could see Victoria walking towards me, smirking once more.

She kneeled down and placed a hand down on my rib cage, breaking some ribs no doubt, and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Say goodbye, Isabella."

As she began to lean down to suck me dry, I thought back to everything. I thought about moving from Phoenix to Forks. Meeting the Cullens. The good times we all had. I thought about losing Edward and me in my depressed state. Jacob and the rest of the Pack. Going to college and meeting Jamie. My career.

So much has happened in my life the past few years and it seemed strange to be leaving it. I finally had Edward back and I was leaving him.

_Better me than him_.

Better me than anybody. It would kill me if something happened to any of them. I still hoped nothing happened to them.

My vision was almost completely gone and I was mostly numb by the time I felt Victoria's cool breath on my neck. I felt her open her mouth to bite but she suddenly snapped it shut and I felt her get up.

I didn't know what was going on, but suddenly I heard the front door being burst open and some people shouting. To me it just seemed like jumbled up words; a different language.

"Bella!"

I heard that one. But it was the last thing I heard before everything went black and silent.

* * *

**A/N:...I don't do action stuff so if this is extremely lame...I'm sorry. :P It's different than Eclipse though! I tried. haha  
There's probably A LOT of typos though, I wrote then posted it. I didn't want to make you guys wait another day. :)**

1. Victoria being recasted for Eclipse?! _What. The. F**K. _I'm so upset, you can't just _do_ that! UGH.  
2. Comic-Con sneak peeks? Hell yeah. haha! I only saw the LQ versions but still...they were awesome. :)  
3. Who saw Harry Potter? I did! The day I got back from Business Week. A three hour drive home then two or so more hours sitting in a theater...fun...lol

Alrighty then, please review and tell me what you think!! :D


	13. Keep Holding On

**A/N: Semi-fast update...for me anyway. :) I actually finished most of this chapter a few days ago but then I got stuck. I didn't know what to write. It was very irritating. It's not as long as my other chapters. It was actually kinda strange, I got a laptop for school last week and it is Windows Vista and the microsoft word that came with it is all strange. This chapter is about the same amount of pages as the others but there's a lot less words. Oh well.  
So this is the last chapter before the epilogue. Sad right? I'm sad. It will be the end of my very first fanfic. :(  
Hope you enjoy! :D**

* * *

Chapter 13- Keep Holding On

_Hear me when I say, when I say I believe  
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny  
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly  
~Avril Lavigne  
_

The pain on the upper half of my body was almost too much to bear. I still couldn't feel my bottom half but the pain in my upper half had intensified.

I could smell the blood that covered my face but it didn't have the same sickening effect it usually had since I was more focused on the pain. I didn't want to think about how much blood I had lost.

My breaths were coming out in short pants and it felt like my lungs were going to explode. I almost thought about holding my breath but nothing good would come out of that.

I wanted to call out to Edward, to Jacob, anybody, but I couldn't. My mind was the only thing that worked.

I could feel hands on me. I wasn't sure whose hands they belonged to but I wanted to grab hold and never let go. I wished I could will my mouth to open so I could tell them I was okay.

Only that would be a complete lie.

I wasn't okay.

For all I knew I was on the brink of death. The only sound I could hear clearly was my own heartbeat. Beating at a fast pace. Pumping blood that was most likely not making its normal cycle, instead being forced out of the wounds that covered my bruised and battered body.

"Carlisle, she's losing too much blood." I heard Alice faintly say.

It was then I realized I had flipped over onto my back. I wasn't sure how they accomplished that when I previously had a shard of glass between my shoulder blades moments before.

"Somebody find me a something to wrap up her leg." I had never heard Carlisle sound so distressed. It made me a bit nervous for my fate. "We have to stop the bleeding."

Was I going to die?

Would they change me?

If they had to, would they be allowed?

Did they _want_ to change me?

"Carlisle we have to save her!" Edward shouted, "She can't die," he added, so quietly I, to me at least, could almost not hear him.

"I'm doing everything I can, Edward."

"We have to change her."

"No, Alice! What about our options?"

_Options? What options?_"There are only _two_ options left, Edward. Change her…or she dies."

Then it clicked.

That's what the mysterious phone call was about. Alice must have had a vision that Edward didn't want me to know about. Probably hoping he could prevent it from happening.

What the options were, however, I had no clue.

Everything had gone quiet again. I thought maybe I had blacked out again but I heard the shuffling of feet on the carpet.

"Sam, the treaty!" I heard Jacob shout. "If they just bite her, the treaty is broken." I didn't hear a reply from Sam and I wondered if he was thinking things through. "Sam…?"

"Jacob, do you want Bella to live?"

"But she won't be alive! She'll be the living _dead_!" I felt myself flinch at the menacing sound of his voice but it must have not been that big of a movement since nobody came running. "If they bite her, I'll kill them myself."

"Jacob, if they don't change her, she'll die. Looking at her now, she doesn't have that much time left."

"Jacob's right. I can't do that to her."

"Damn it, Edward! If you don't change her yourself I will do it." Jasper was in here? When I got a small paper cut, Jasper snapped. How was he handling it now? "We should have done it the first time Alice had that vision six years ago."

"But I…I just…" I felt slight pressure on my hand and I assumed it was Edward grabbing hold. "What if she doesn't want to be like us anymore?"

"Edward," Alice said softly, but a bit strained, "she loves you. And we don't want to lose her, and neither do you."

"Do you know how much time she has left?"

"Twenty minutes." I heard a strangled sob escape Edward and I tried tightening my grip on the hand holding mine.

"I don't know if I can do it."

"Edward," I finally choked out, "do it."

"Bella? Oh God, Bella." I opened my eyes just as Edward leaned down to brush my hair out of my face. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have left you here alone."

"Shh, it's not your fault," I assured him. "Danger magnet remember?" I tried to laugh but I ended up coughing instead.

I noticed a few of the vampires in the room stiffen when blood came up with it.

"Oh Bella." As soon as I could open my eyes again, I looked into Edward's pained ones.

"Bella, you have a choice." I averted my eyes away from Edward and looked at Jacob. "You don't have to do this you know."

Before answering, I took a few seconds to take in the sight in front of me. They were the people I cared about. They were the people I considered family. Vampire or werewolf. It didn't matter. And I didn't want to leave them.

No matter the cost.

"I'd rather not die either, Jacob," I whispered back. "Sam?" I winced as a simple move of my head caused more unbearable pain. "Them changing me won't affect the treaty?"

"No," Sam sighed. "You're choosing that life. I'll speak to the others, there won't be a fight, but you will have to leave Washington until you can control yourself." His face suddenly saddened. "And you can't contact Charlie."

I knew that much. Charlie couldn't know about this world of the supernatural. Neither could Renee or Phil. Anyone I knew, really.

"Bella, can you tell me what hurts the most?" Carlisle asked. I wasn't sure what difference it would make if I told him, but he was the doctor, he knew what he was doing.

"Everywhere, but I can't feel my bottom half," I whispered. Carlisle glanced up at Edward and back at me with more worry in his eyes.

"You can't feel anything?" I shook my head 'no'.

"The feeling is completely gone. I can't even move." I couldn't really move anywhere but I knew he knew what I meant. "Victoria?" I suddenly gasped out, causing me to cough again. Everybody was here with me, but Victoria was nowhere to be seen.

"Shh, Bella," Edward whispered to me, squeezing my hand.

"We took care of her, Bella," Rosalie said, kneeling down next to Edward. "You don't need to worry about her anymore." Even Rosalie looked saddened by the turn of events.

I released a small sigh of relief. It was good to know that my friends and family were safe and out of harm's way. It wasn't until then, however, that I realized how terrible _I_ looked.

My originally all white tee shirt hardly had any white left on it, just a few spots. Blood covered almost every inch of it. And just the amount of blood that pooled around me was enough to make me worry. I could feel my hair stuck to the sides of my face and my forehead from the dried blood.

I still couldn't feel my bottom half, and I didn't have the strength to lift my head to see, but I knew I looked terrible.

"Bella's still losing blood. We need to hur-" Carlisle didn't even finish when we heard the front door being opened.

Jamie.

"Honey, I'm ho-" He stopped when he saw the scene in front of him. "What the fuck happened?" Jamie came running over and stood next to Carlisle and glared up at Edward. "Cullen, I swear if you did this to her I'll-"

"Jamie, stop," I squeaked out, squeezing my eyes shut in pain. "He didn't do this. _They_ didn't do this."

"Then explain to me what happened?" The room went silent again. He wasn't supposed to know about this world. I kept it from him for a reason. I knew about it, but when Edward left, I wished I didn't.

"Do we tell him?" Carlisle asked Sam.

"We'll have to," Sam responded, though hesitant. "There's no way we can explain all of this." He gestured to me and mess around the living room.

It was the first time I noticed how bad everything _around_ me was. The television was tipped over on the floor, pieces of glass from the screen all around it on the floor, minus the piece that had been wedged into my back. The coffee table had been knocked over, though when, I have no idea. Everything was a lot worse than I thought it was.

"Jamie," Carlisle started, "we don't have enough time to explain everything to you, but what we do tell you, you must not tell a soul. Don't repeat anything you hear." Jamie slowly nodded and Emmett continued for Carlisle.

"Jamie, what do you know about vampires?" Jamie's eyebrows raised and he looked at Emmett like he had grown three heads.

"Just the nonsense that Bella's shooter keeps saying."

"He isn't making it up, Jamie."

"You're saying a vampire did this to Bella?" Jamie asked incredulously, clearly not believing a word they were saying.

"Vampires and werewolves are real, Jamie," Carlisle calmly said, ignoring Jamie's question. "They walk around and look just like you and I."

"Werewolves, too?"

"Yes, werewolves."

"And you are-"

"A vampire."

"You all are?" Jamie actually looked completely horrified. It was the reaction Edward was hoping for from me when I first found out he and his family were vampires.

"No," Jacob scoffed, disgusted at the fact of being called a vampire. "Just the Cullens. And Bella's, obviously, human."

"So that makes you a werewolf." He pointed at Jacob.

"He's quick," Embry smirked.

"They won't hurt you Jamie," I tried to assure him. It was hard to sound convincing when my voice was barely audible and it cracked every word.

"But what about the one that supposedly did this to you?" Jamie's voice had gone up an octave as he looked me over.

"Our lifestyle is different," Jasper explained. "The vampire that attacked Bella feeds off of human blood. We feed off of animal blood."

"Why are you all telling me this?" Jamie's voice wavered a bit, but he still tried to sound confidant.

"Because Bella has a choice to make." Carlisle paused and looked at Jamie seriously.

"What are those choices?"

"Either Bella dies…" Jacob trailed off.

"Or she becomes one of us." Edward finished, not taking his eyes off mine. I tried to smile at him, to let him know I was going to be okay, but it was more of a grimace than anything.

"What happens after that?"

"Jamie, dear," it was the first time I heard Esme speak, and her voice had a motherly tone to it as she spoke to Jamie. "You're not going to be able see Bella again. We'll have to take her away. She won't be able to control herself once she wakes up from the change."

"What do you mean?"

"She'll have an uncontrollable blood-lust, and with you being human, she won't be able to control herself. You'd be in danger."

"But I thought you all feed off of animal blood. Why can't Bella?"

"We are…_designed_…to drink from humans. We just choose to feed differently."

Jamie looked down at me and it pained me to see him look so vulnerable. He was the one with the I'll-kick-your-ass attitude and looking at him now, he was like a whole different person.

"Bella?" I didn't say anything but I looked at him, showing him I was listening. "You better promise me you'll at least e-mail me. I can't be completely out of contact with my best friend." A tear rolled down his cheek as I gave him a weak smile. "And don't worry," Jamie said, looking up at everybody else, "I won't tell anybody. Your secret is safe with me."

"And you still have to tell me about your date, Jamie," I forced out with a small smile.

Jamie managed to smile widely through his tears and slowly leaned down to kiss me on my forehead.

"Thank you, Jamie," Edward said. "Thank you for being there for her."

Jamie nodded as I coughed once more before closing my eyes and loosening my group on Edward's hand. I could feel myself slipping away and I could hear everybody around me beginning to panic.

"Bella? Bella, love, please stay with me," Edward pleaded.

"Edward, she doesn't have much time!" Alice panicked.

"What's going to happen?" I heard Jamie ask. He sounded far away and I assumed he was pushed away from me so everyone else could gather around.

"She has to be bitten." I heard Jamie gasp as Carlisle explained what had to be done.

"Will it hurt her?"

"Yes."

I was honestly afraid of the pain. It had been explained to me. Most of those bitten beg to be killed. The pain is too much for almost all to handle.

I could remember the pain James inflicted when he bit my wrist years ago in the ballet studio. I remember wanting the pain to go away as soon as possible. Fortunately, it didn't last long. The difference this time though…

I'll go through the whole change.

There will be no stopping it.

"Edward, she has two minutes!" Alice sounded far away even though I knew she was standing right next to me.

I felt my head being turned to the side and a cold hand touch my neck.

"Edward, are you sure you can do this?"

"Not really."

"Edward, if you kill her I swear-"

"Enough Jacob!"

I heard the words being spoken but through my haze I couldn't tell who had spoken them. Everything was, again, a jumble of words.

Cool breath fanned across my face before I heard Edward whisper into my ear.

"I love you, Bella, so much," he said. "I'm so sorry."

He placed a feather-light kiss on my neck before sticking his razor sharp teeth into the side of my neck. I locked my jaw and tried not to cry out. The burning was just as unbearable as I remembered.

The sounds of the people around me were completely drowned out as I tried to focus on not screaming and everything was black again.

The strange realization suddenly hit me.

I was finally being turned into a vampire and I would soon awake to a whole new life.

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**A/N: I'm not too happy about this chapter. For some reason I had trouble portraying the emotions of the characters. I guess my muse left me again. But my opinion doesn't count. Please review and let me know! I got six reviews for the last chapter which is okay...I guess...haha But they're all from the same people! I appreciate all of you who stuck with me this whole time. Even when I took freaking ages to update most of you still stuck with me. You guys are awesome! :D  
Epilogue=next chapter**


	14. Epilogue: Two is Better Than One

**A/N: HOLY SHIZ I UPDATED!!  
School's a bitch. 'Nuff said.**

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Chapter 14- Epilogue: Two is Better Than One

_I remember every look upon your face  
__The way you roll your eyes  
__The way you taste  
__You make it hard for breathing  
__'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away  
__I think of you and everything's okay  
__I'm finally now believing  
__'Cause maybe it's true  
__That I can't live without you  
__Maybe two is better than one  
__There's so much time  
__To figure out the rest of my life  
__And you thought that it got me coming undone  
__And I'm thinking two is better than one_

~Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift

**5 Months Later**

Not a lot of events usually take place in the span of five months. To most people five months feels like a week. It goes by so quickly. One second it is the beginning of one month then another second it is the ending of another month.

This is the norm for most people. 'Most people' meaning _not me_.

A lot has happened in these five months.

I made a lifestyle change. I moved out of my beloved state of Washington to the freezing tundra of Alaska. I am drinking the blood of Alaskan animals rather than eating my normal garden burger or pizza.

I had started over. And I couldn't have done it without my family.

The Cullens. Or even the Pack.

The Cullens may have been the ones who caused my physical change, but if it weren't for the pack's consent I wouldn't be here.

After I had been bitten, I was quickly removed from the "crime scene" and taken away. The Cullens, minus Edward, had stayed behind to clean up the mess. They fabricated my death using the already-there destruction that was my house. It was evident to the detectives that something terrible had happened there.

Jamie was a big help in the fabrication. He told detectives he had returned home after a night out to find that I was missing and the house a mess with my blood covering almost every surface of the living room.

Just after a few hours of investigation, I had joined the list of those who had gone missing. A few months later, I was declared dead. The paramedics and the crime scene investigators had said that even if I had still been alive, there was no way I had lived long with the amount of blood that was left behind.

A funeral was held for me back in Forks. The casket was filled with pictures and letters rather than a body, seeing as there wasn't one. It seemed like the whole town plus some had shown up. I had gained a good amount of control for a newborn and I was allowed to watch from a far.

I saw old acquaintances from school that I hadn't expected to show up. I hadn't been the greatest person my senior year of high school and I wouldn't have been surprised if people didn't show up. Lauren Mallory was even part of the grieving crowd.

Some of my co-workers from Seattle had made the trip over to say their goodbyes. I had never seen so many saddened faces in one place before. It didn't help that with my newly acquired vampire eye-sight, I could see each and every tear that made their way down people's faces. It was all a heartbreaking sight.

The most heartbreaking sight of all, though, had to be my parents.

Renee and Charlie were both in the front row, along with Phil, Jacob, Billy, and some of the pack. Renee sat in between Phil and Charlie, clutching both of their hands. Renee was trying, but failing, to hold back her sobs and Phil sat silently tried to comfort her. Charlie, the man who hardly ever showed his true emotions, was choking back his own sobs.

Watching all of this happen made me close my eyes and try and calm myself so I wouldn't go running over there. All I wanted to do was run over there and jump out and say "I'm right here! I'm alive!" But I couldn't do that. Not only am I supposed to be dead, but I look hell of a lot different than I did before. My skin is now pale white and cold and hard as stone. My eyes are also a topaz gold, though at the time of the funeral they were tinted with crimson red.

The next thing I wanted was for Edward to come and take my hand and hold me close. I currently needed the contact. But I couldn't have that either. Edward and the rest of the Cullens were all occupying the seats in the back. I would occasionally catch Edward's eye as he sneakily turned his head to look at me to make sure I was okay and wasn't going to run over there.

After the burial, there was a small reception held at Charlie's, and once my, house. Charlie was not thrilled to have the Cullens, or more specifically Edward, and he expressed his thoughts to him and Edward silently listened. Charlie could obviously see the guilt that crossed Edward's features so he left him alone.

The reception was mostly a quiet gathering, just a few people talking in whispers saying things like "she was such a sweet girl" or "her poor parents must be devastated". Many condolences were given that night to my parents and many more tears were shed.

I was glad when the reception was finally over. All of the guests left, minus Jacob, Billy, my mom, and Phil. The Cullens had returned back to their own house to allow me to have a few minutes to myself. Edward had wanted to stay but I assured him I would be fine.

It become silent in the house as they all sat down on the couches in the living room. Jacob knew I was here by my scent but he played off the grieving really well. There were no words spoken from anybody. There was nothing to say. The emotion was almost completely gone from everybody in the room. All I wanted to do was to go in and comfort them. But that was something I would never get to do again.

A few hours later, Billy and Jacob began to leave. Billy knew I wasn't dead as well and it hurt him to not be able to tell his best friend that his daughter was, to some extent, still alive and well. Billy gave me a small smile when he saw me standing under the small window in the front of the house in the shadows. Jacob wheeled Billy to the car before slowly coming over to quietly talk to me.

"How you doin', Bells?" he asked, sympathy evident in his eyes.

"I didn't attack anybody," I responded dryly.

"You know that's not what I meant…" I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly. I knew that's not what he meant.

"I'll be fine. It's just…" I didn't know what to say. "Please take of Charlie for me. Renee has Phil, but Charlie…I don't think…"

"I will, Bella." I nodded, not knowing what else to say.

Jacob held his arms out and I knew he wanted to hug me but was allowing me to chose whether or not I was in control enough or not. It was a test of my control so I braced myself and slowly walked into his arms for the much needed hug.

Jacob's arms tightened around me as I relaxed into the hug. He smelt like wet dog so I realized he nor I had nothing to worry about.

"You stink," Jacob jokingly muttered into my hair.

"So do you," I muttered back with a small chuckle since that was what I had just been thinking about.

Jacob and I still stay in contact. He thought about visiting but then he remembered he would be staying with two families of vampires instead of one. We are currently residing with the Denali clan who had graciously let us into their home for the time being. Jacob calls almost every day to give me updates on Charlie. It has been two months since the funeral and Charlie is just starting to return back to normal. Sue Clearwater has been coming over to help Charlie and making sure he eats and Billy still insists on fishing every Saturday morning. I am happy to hear that Charlie is at least attempting to move on.

Jamie and I still keep in touch, not as often as Jacob and I, but it is enough to satisfy. Jamie keeps me updated with things going on in Seattle and he usually likes to gush about his new "boy-toy" as I like to call him, much to Jamie's distaste. Jamie still goes on frequent dates with the same man he was with the day I was attacked. Jamie swears that they are "soul-mates". If I was a normal person I would think he was nuts, but seeing as I have my very own, I don't find it so hard to believe.

I know Jamie would like to talk to me more often but I thought it would be better to just talk every once in awhile. I am supposed to be dead, after all. I am trying to be cautious and there are time where I somehow Jamie will raise suspicion. Though he is a fantastic actor, he has been overplaying the grieving a little bit. He's already been told twice by our boss, well _my_ _former_ boss, that he should be checked out for depression.

_Good job, Jamie._

The Denali clan has been nothing but kind. We all kind of just dropped in here during my change. I remember feeling quite awkward waking up to find faces peering down at me that I did not recognize.

_The burning had finally subsided and I didn't feel like I was in the same place where all of this started. I could hear quite a few whispered voices, many I didn't recognize. I tensed slightly and slowly opened my eyes, or tried to open them slowly at least._

"_Ooh! She's waking up!" I heard Alice's high pitched squeal._

_I looked around me and took in my surroundings. I was lying on a bed. It was a bed or room I recognized so I realized I must have been taken away the second I was bitten. I could see tiny dust motes floating around me that I knew I wouldn't have seen if I were human. I could see the tiniest bit of sunlight streaming through the window to my left._

_I finally took in the people standing around me. I recognized the Cullens right away. _Have they always been this beautiful_? I thought to myself, staring at their faces. Alice jumped in her spot with a large smile plastered on her face. I hadn't seen her this excited since that time she wanted to take me shopping before junior prom. Jasper stared amusingly at Alice as she hopped and placed a calming hand on her shoulder. Emmett had his arms wrapped around Rosalie and looked just as excited as Alice, minus the jumping. Rosalie even had a certain spark in her eye letting me know she was just as happy. Carlisle and Esme both looked patient and stared at me with kind eyes._

_Standing next to the Cullens was a group of people I had never seen before._

"_She looks so confused," I heard the girl with strawberry blonde hair say with a giggle._

"_Shush, Tanya," another with pale blonde hair replied back, "You were the exact same way."_

_I felt someone gently squeeze my hand and I turned my head to look into the eyes of my Edward._

"_Are you alright, love?" he asked concern evident in his voice. I swallowed once for the first time and realized a burning sensation. My throat felt like it was on fire._

"_My throat…" I started, but stopped when I heard my voice for the first time. To be completely honest, it was quite terrifying. It sounded like bells. It didn't sound like mine._

_Edward seemed relieved that I had finally said something and said a simple "you're thirsty." So that's what it was._

"_Where are we?" I asked as Edward helped me sit up. It was a quick movement and it was still a little unsettling._

"_Denali, Alaska," Carlisle answered and pointed towards the people I still didn't know. "We're staying with the Denali Coven. They're good friends of ours and have allowed us to stay in their home until you gain enough control to move on again." I nodded and gave a small wave to the family in front of me. "Bella, this is Tanya, Kate, Carmen, Eleazar, and Garrett."_

Tanya is extraordinarily beautiful. Not as beautiful as Rosalie, but enough to make someone's self esteem drop a few points, including mine. She's the one with the curly, strawberry blond hair. She's tall and thin and it made me wonder how Edward had refused her advances all that time ago. I was a little nervous when I first met her that she wouldn't be happy with me for being the one to actually steal Edward's heart, but she is actually sweet and supporting and had told me that she is happy for both of us. She was sad to see Edward lonely for so long.

Kate is genuinely cheerful but has a rather dry and cheeky personality. She was the one who had told Tanya to "shush" when I woke from the change. She has straight, pale blonde hair and just as beautiful as her sister. Kate's mate Garrett tall and rangy and he always keeps his hair tied back. His eyes are still ruby red, just recently changing his lifestyle, and even though I am no longer human it still makes me nervous.

Carmen and her mate Eleazar are both from Spain. Carmen has black hair and has a bit of an olive-tone to her pale complexion. Eleazar was originally one of the Volturi guards but left to be with Carmen. Just like his wife, he has dark hair and the same olive tone to his skin. As a former Volturi guard, I expected a tougher personality, but he is quite gentle and quiet.

Irina used to part of this clan and I instantly felt a little guilty when they told me the reason she is no longer with them. When Laurant had come to Denali after that night in the baseball field, he had developed feelings for Irina and she for him. When Laurant was killed by the werewolves, I was instantly blamed but instead of coming for me, she left. The still aren't sure where she went and they haven't heard from her.

The Denalis have been great and I'm grateful for them allowing to stay here for a while, even if they do know the Cullens.

Speaking of the Cullens, Rosalie and I are on good terms. She explained to me her reasons for hating me so much.

"I didn't hate _you_, Bella," she had said, "I hated that you wanted to give up your humanity for this."

She told me if she had been given the choice, she would not have chosen this life. When I asked her about Emmett, she said she had him changed out of selfishness but she still loved him with all her heart.

Rosalie and I talked for a few hours and I listened as she told her story of her now-dead fiancé Royce King. When she finished her story, I hugged her. She seemed shocked but had quickly composed herself and hugged me back.

The only thing we argue about now is shopping, which brings me to Alice.

Alice is now happy as ever and is back the Alice I knew before. She had the spark back in her eyes and she pranced around the house just like she used to. Just a month and a half after my change, she insisted we go shopping, much to Jasper's chagrin. He was extremely jealous that as a newborn I was able to control my bloodlust in a way that usually took years for vampires to master.

Carlisle thought it could be one of my gifts while Edward thought it could just be I was more prepared. I knew what I was becoming before the change and I knew the bloodlust would be difficult, but I knew there would be one so I was more prepared to deal with it.

Maybe I'm biased, but I liked that theory better.

Even though my control is pretty much in check, Jasper still watches me like a hawk. I know the dark side of him wishes I would slip up somehow and I don't blame him. It is still hard for him to control himself sometimes, even though it is a lot better.

Emmett is back to his old joking self. He is back to shooting off jokes at inappropriate times but it still makes us all laugh. I think the thing that makes Emmett the happiest now is that Rose and I are now getting along. He always felt torn before when we hated each other. Rose is his wife but I am one of his best friends. Somehow he still made it work. But now there is nothing to worry about since Rose and I are now practically sisters.

"Hi, Esme," I say as Esme waltzes into the room and sits down next to me on the couch.

"Wuthering Heights again, Bella?" Esme laughs, peaking at the title of the book I have been trying to read the past hour.

"Hey, it's a classic!"

"It may be a classic but you didn't seem so in to it just now," Esme says, raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"You caught that, huh?" I laugh nervously.

"What were you thinking about that has you so distracted?" she looks concerned but I quickly assure her that nothing's wrong.

"I'm just thinking about…everything." I lean my head back against the couch but I'm still looking at her. "So much has happened."

"Well get used to it, you'll be alive for the rest of eternity. Many things are bound to happen." Esme gives me a funny look but before I could ask her about it she switches topics. "Rose and Alice want to go shopping tomorrow."

"Of course they do, when don't they?" I laugh.

"True. But I'll warn you, Alice will be coming in here to ask you pretty soon."

"Where is she?" I ask, realizing that I haven't seen or heard from her in a few hours.

"Hunting with Jasper, Rose, Emmett, and the Denalis."

"That explains the silence," I say seriously but end up laughing at the end.

"That explains it. They'll be back in a few hours I'm guessing."

"Alright." I don't have time to say anything else because I hear Carlisle call Esme's name from outside. She gives me a warm smile and a wink and walks out to find her husband.

_That was weird_, I think as I hear the back door close.

It is times like that that I wish I could read minds like Edward.

_Edward_.

I sigh happily as I think about my love. After my change, Edward and I were even more in love than we were before. I still had feelings that he would leave again but those feelings have long gone away.

After I woke up from the change, and everybody else left the room to give Edward and I some time, Edward attacked me with a kiss. The kiss was full of fiery passion and it was something I had never experienced before. It was a part of Edward I never thought I would see.

"Sorry," Edward had said the second he pulled away.

"No you're not," I said back when I looked into his eyes. They were black with lust and I was glad that we would no longer have to hold back like we did when I was human.

Of course, that moment was ruined when I swallowed and winced and remembered that my throat still burned with thirst.

The first time I hunted was awkward. I didn't know what I was doing and watching Edward do it with grace made me even more nervous to try. When I pounced on the moose that had begun to run, I could feel Edward's eyes on my back the whole time. I was extremely relieved when I didn't make a complete mess, though I did tear the dress I had been wearing a little bit.

Alice wasn't happy when I returned.

Even though I am no longer breakable, Edward still takes everything slowly. Sometimes I like it, sometimes it pisses me off. We still haven't gone that far in the intimacy department because Edward keeps saying he wants it to be special. Anytime to me would be special. But Edward being the old-fashioned gentleman that he is wants to wait. And I will patiently wait as well.

I jump slightly as I feel warm hands travel down from my shoulders to my hands. The smile that is already formed becomes a bigger smile when I open my eyes to find Edward's golden eyes staring back at me. He's sporting a smile as well and it grows when he sees me looking at him.

He moves himself so his is sitting next to me on the couch and I quickly curl up beside him, Wuthering Heights long forgotten. We both sit in silence just enjoying each other's company. I sigh in contentment and just like all of the other times he asks me what I'm thinking.

"What, may I ask, are you thinking, my love?"

"You," I say.

"Good thoughts, I hope," he is smiling but I can hear the worry in his voice. He knows how it took me a while to realize he wasn't going to leave again and he hates that I sometimes start thinking about that fateful day in the woods.

"What? You can't read my mind?" I joke looking up at him, trying to reassure him that all is well.

"Only when you allow me, my love," he says leaning down for a deep kiss.

Edward still cannot read my mind, unless I want him too. After I awoke from the change, I asked Edward if he could read my mind now that I was like him. I was disappointed that my mind was still different but instantly felt better when Eleazar told me that I was a shield. I could prevent Edward from reading my mind but if I concentrated hard enough, he could read it.

_I love you_, I think as Edward pulls away from the kiss and leans his forehead against mine.

"I love you, too, Isabella." Our breathing is staggered and we don't break eye-contact. I stare into his golden eyes and I can see the love portrayed there. Edward reaches up and gently runs his down my face. He cups my face between both of his hands and gives me a gentle kiss. Even though it is just a soft kiss it still makes a moan come out of my throat.

"You're killing me here, Bella," Edward groans as his lips leave mine but begin to travel down my jaw and my neck.

"Then what are you waiting for?" I move my head to give him more access to my neck. I swallow as he continues to kiss and nip. He reaches my shoulder and I can feel him smile against my bare skin of my shoulder and I think I hear him mutter something along the lines of "not much longer".

He kisses my shoulder once more before pulling back. He chuckles as I pout and he stands up. I stare up at him as he puts his hand out for me to take.

I stand up and straighten out the skirt of the navy blue chiffon party dress that Alice had insisted, and by insisted I mean forces, I wear and take Edward's hand. I don't ask him where we are going because in a matter of seconds we are standing in front of the large black grand piano.

I smile as Edward leads me to the bench and sits me down. He gracefully walks around until he is sitting next to me on the bench and gets red to play. I watch as his hands move across the keys and I close my eyes as I listen to him play a few songs, including my lullaby.

I expect him to be done when he plays the final note of my lullaby but instead he surprises me by going straight into another song I have never heard before. The song starts out slow and dark but by the end it has more of a happy sound to it, though it doesn't sound finished.

"What song was that?" I finally ask after a few moments of silence.

"A new one I started." He seems to hesitate. "It's our story. Starting from the darker times, when I left you…" he trails off for a second "and ending there when I finally had you in my arms again."

"It didn't sound finished." I say. I hope I am not offending him by saying this but I am reassured when I see the beginning of a smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"That's because there's still one more thing I have to do." I don't get to ask him about that because he is suddenly on his feet again and taking my hand. "Walk with me?" he asks, leading me towards the door.

We walk outside and I still expect to get a chill when walking out into the Alaskan air, but I don't feel a thing. We walk slowly away from the house and for the first time I notice what Edward is wearing.

He is dressed in nice, black slacks with a crisp white shirt and a black jacket on top. We are walking away from most civilization so nothing is coming to my mind as to what could be going on. After we are further away from the house and there is nothing to see but the stars above, Edward turns to me and take both of my hands in his.

"What has got you thinking so hard, my love?" he asks.

"What the hell is going on?" I am more confused than anything and when Edward laughs it confirms my thoughts that he knows this.

Edward ignores my question and stares straight into my eyes.

"Bella, my love, my life, my world? We have been through so much together these past few years and I want to fix that. I want you to trust me fully again. I want you to know that you are stuck with me whether you like it or not." I would have laughed but instead my breath hitches as I watch Edward go down on one knee, both hands still holding mine. "Bella, when I first met you I had been alone for almost a century. When I met you, I knew you were the one I had been waiting for that whole time. You made it hard for me to breath…literally. Leaving you was one of the stupidest things I could have done. It nearly killed me…and you." Our eyes stayed locked together as he continued to speak. "Having you in my arms again was the best feeling I could ever have. I didn't care if we were from different worlds anymore, all I wanted was you. I want you to know that I love you and I want you for the rest of eternity. So…Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?"

If I could cry, I would be sobbing right about now. I quickly nod my head as a 'yes' since I can't find my voice. I watch as Edward reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black velvet box. He holds it up and opens it. The ring nestled inside was beautiful. There was no sunlight but it diamonds still sparkled in the face of the long oval. The small stones were in slanting rows and the band was gold. The gold made a fragile web around each diamond.

"It was my mother's," Edward whispers as he slowly slides the ring onto my ring finger on my left hand.

"It's beautiful" I finally choke out as he stands up. I release my gaze on the ring and look up at Edward. I take both of my hands and pull his face closer to mine so I can kiss him full on the lips. "I love you," I mumble against his lips.

"I love you. So much." Edward mumbled back, deepening the kiss. He has one hand on my waist pulling me closer while the other hand is going through my hair. Edward breaks the kiss and pulls me closer to him and I wrap my arms around his waist.

"So this is why Alice forced me into this dress," I mumble into Edward's chest. I hear Edward laugh into my hair and nod.

"Yes, this is exactly why. Why? You don't like it?"

"The engagement? Yes. The dress? Not so much."

"Well I think you look beautiful." Edward spins me around and places a kiss on my forehead before leaning his forehead against mine.

Right now it almost seems like the last six years didn't happen. I know I have always loved him, even when I denied it and convinced myself that I didn't want to want him. I may have convinced myself, but not other people. I never thought something like this would happen. After Edward left, I thought I was doomed to be alone and would never get married.

Now here I am with my first love and engaged.

"And here I thought I would be lonely for the rest of my life," I say out loud with a chuckle.

"Well you know, I have heard that two is better than one," Edward says with a smile.

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"I guess this means you can finish your song now."

"Maybe, but we have the rest of eternity together, you never know what might happen."

"Mmm…forever," I whisper, standing up straight for another kiss.

"Forever."

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**A/N: Well, there it is. :) I'll call this chapter my early birthday present. September 25! :D I'm sorry it took me so long but school has been crazy and I didn't have time to write. I was actually supposed to be doing my homework when I was writing this. :P I know, cliche ending, but I like it. And look! A long chapter! I hope it was worth the wait. Big thank you's to those who stuck with me and my sporatic updating, it really does mean a lot. And I really didn't expect the amout of reviews that I got, that a lot to me. THANK YOU!!!**


	15. AN

**Hiya! Long time, no see. =D**

**So…for those of you who don't have me on author alert, I just posted a one shot! It's a companion to this one. It's chapters 6 and 7 in Edward's POV. I know a lot of you wanted an EPOV and this is the best I can do. Hope you like it!**

**Also...this story is also posting on Twilight(DOT)net!! It actually took me 3 tries to get it posted there and I was really excited when it was finally accepted. There are some AMAZING authors on there...so I'm a little intimidated. There are here on FF...they're just easier to find on Twilighted. =)**

**Now, go read some EPOV!!! =D**


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